On John 15:12

By Pat Pagulayan

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

I’m just starting to realise the magnitude of understanding required to be able to even slightly comprehend this verse. Shocks. I thought I knew what love meant; and now the word “shallow” is not even apt to describe my definition of love.

I grew up believing that in order to win love and acceptance, I have to be good - even perfect. I studied hard, I worked hard, and true enough, I won the love of my parents, the compliments of my teachers, the approval of my friends. But I knew I deserved it, because I bloody well worked hard for it, that’s for sure! And because of that, I expected others to do the same: to strive to win love.

Wrong.

That attitude became a breeding ground for pride and self-righteousness, envy and jealousy. When I work hard on something and give my all to it, I expect love and acceptance in return. After all, I bloody worked hard for it so I deserve it, right?

Wrong again.

And when other people are not as hard-working, not as good, not as righteous as I am, why will they reap the same rewards that I bent over backwards for? But God’s blessing is for all; He sends rain to the righteous and the unrighteous (Mt 5:45). And when they do get the same love and acceptance (or even more) as I do, there starts envy and jealousy slowly creeping over, and there I am, whining on why they deserve such love when I’m the one who bloody works hard for it.

But the beautiful truth is, I didn’t need to work hard to win God’s love, thus I shouldn’t expect others to work hard to be loved by me.

I didn’t need to be good to be loved by God. I didn’t need to be perfect, or righteous, or faithful to win his love. And oh dear, I didn’t even need to do the right thing to be loved by Him. I am a sinner and yet He loves me. The Father’s love for me preceded everything, regardless of what I do and do not do. His love and acceptance was not based on my actions, but on what His Son has done for me, for all of us.

Thus, I must do the same: to love without prerequisites, to love without expectations, to love generously.

And learning to do so is one thing I should bloody work hard for.

But I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Phil 4:13).