Friday 28 February 2014

Sunday 23rd Feb 2014 - StAY's Moving Day for Refugees

 By Daniel Pua

It was a day we deliver the donated furnitures to the refugees households. Graced with a glorious day of 24 Deg C, it was the perfect weather for the event.

As we fully loaded 2 trucks (with one sponsored by 'Man with a Van') we embarked on the mission with purpose, it was perhaps like, in a articulated sense, a bridge of light leading to the illumination of each household.

We were warmly welcomed by the occupants of the households, many of whom not having much in the home as they have only recently resettled in Australia. One can only imagine the ordeal most of them had to undergo, after an perilous journey & settling in a foreign land with nothing, except clothes. I read somewhere previously; "The human spirit is the strongest force there is. As long as the spirit remains unbroken, there is no defeat. The deeper the dark, the closer the dawn. However profound the suffering that envelops, never forget the inner spark of hope and courage. Never lose the capacity to wait with patient enduring" - I felt a sense of realization that I'm in the company of such.

Following the first few trips, we were concerned that there may be insufficient furnitures to give to the remaining households. In what seemed like the work of Him, a phonecall from a household in the vicinity offered to give out furnitures as they were vacating their premises. The furnitures were good quality, IKEA make & had a good variety, fit for an empty household.

Picking up our new load, we headed to the next stop, where we were greeted with warm hearts by 2 gentlemen. As we loaded the furnitures into the house, I noticed there were no other furnitures in the house except a 4 seater dining table with no chairs. Perfect fit for the furnitures we brought, I thought. Also, the table had been laid with plates, glasses, 2 bottles of soft drinks, 2 bunch of grapes & a large plate of chicken Nasi Biryani (fried rice).

I recalled one of the Stay members had previously visited the home a week earlier & in the midst of conversations with the occupants, had casually touched on the topic of Nasi Biryani, one of which both our cultures shared in common. The occupants said they will cook us some when we return.

The table was mindfully laid out, each plate came with a spoon which were deliberately wrapped in a fashion that clearly exhuberate thoughtfulness & care. They have been looking forward to our visit!

I love grapes. Being a student many years back, I recall how I usually buy cheaper grapes, in a bid to be frugal, I have learnt to differentiate good quality grapes. Here we have been offered very good quality grapes, such generosity!

"You should each give, then, as you have decided not with regret or out of a sense of duty; for God loves the one who gives gladly (2 Corinthians 9:7)" A touching sight & true testament of giving all when there is none.

This 23rd day of February, 2014 was truly a day of friendship, & the reflection of the Australian people in general, reaching out to the refugees-no-more whom have come to call this vast, beautiful, land of Australia, Home.

It was indeed a blessing to have been involved in this event organised by Stay, a strong reminder that "Thou shall love thy neighbour as thyself (Mark 12:31)" that sometimes the simplest acts of love goes a long way in uplifting the human spirit & transcends culture, language & differences.

Signing off, a little request that you could say a prayer to lift up our new neighbours whom have resettled here in Australia; may the Lord grant them the peace, strength & reconciliation.

May peace be with you; God Bless.


Wednesday 26 February 2014

Firebrandz Worship Night - The Body of Christ

February 26, 2014
Speaker: Adam Cooper

What better way to end February than to learn about Human Love in the Divine Plan - that in order to understand our body and sexuality, we have to see it in this context.

Our human body, in its sexuality, is to be a sign of the divine mystery in the world, and this is what Theology of the Body is about; not a set of authoritative rules nor a coercive moral code. It is a freeing and empowering reality wherein we discover human dignity and human love, and gain an insight into our own temptations.

Not only did he talk about the human body, but more importantly, Christ's body as well. All of us need a renewed heart; one that is transformed daily by grace, and it is Christ's body that serves as a place of this healing and renewal. As the poet George Herbert said, "Christ's body is like a garden where we can gather herbs to heal our wounds."

Our bodies, despite all the sins, can be healed through the body of Christ.

This month's special:

But strive FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

So DO NOT WORRY about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. 
Today's trouble is enough for today. 
- Matthew 6:33-34





Monday 24 February 2014

On Genesis 28:15 (and washing machines)

By Pat Pagulayan

I often see Genesis 28:15 as a summary of God’s three great promises to me: Psalm 121, Isaiah 41:10, and Jeremiah 29:11. It serves as God’s constant reassurance to me that He is always with me, watching over me wherever I go, whatever I do - even as I slumber. And that through all these things, He will never leave me until He has done what He has promised me.

And oh dear, God really never leaves until He’s done with me.

In the past couple of weeks (maybe even months), I feel like I’ve been thrown into a washing machine, just being tumbled left, right, and centre. And just when I thought that all is good, at peace, and that I’ve successfully gone through a difficult “cleaning process”, another one begins (you know that brief pause your washing machine makes before it moves on to the next cycle, yeah, something like that). It drains my strength; it breaks me down; it sucks the abundant energy that I have out of me; it makes me feel weak and helpless; it confuses me, drives me crazy, and shakes my very core.

And it’s a beautiful process - something I’d go through cycle and cycle and cycle again.

Yes, it does make me suffer. But the amazing thing is I suffer knowing that He who makes me go through all these things is a God who only has my best interest in His heart. That He who is doing all the washing, is not someone who’s outside just pressing the buttons, but is the soap and water that is with me in the cycle as well, never stopping until He has soften, broken, and removed all those stubborn stains.

I tell you, I am one tough and stubborn stain to remove, and God is working on me full-time, day and night, 24/7. And like a layer of oil in a stain that repels water, my flesh is fighting and resisting, latching on to me, opposing the Spirit. It is the flesh that is causing all this pain, heaviness, mental and emotional turmoil. A battlefield in my head.

One thing I am learning through this process is that I cannot win this without God. If you put a stained linen in a washing machine and run it without soap nor water, the stain remains, becomes harder, and tougher to remove. In this process I am learning to trust God more instead of my own “water-less” and “soap-less” wisdom - to trust the God who is always with us and never leaves us until He has done what He has promised for us.

Come, let us tumble God’s washing together.

Saturday 22 February 2014

On Mark 1:40-45

By Pat Pagulayan

It has made me wonder why when Jesus heals the sick and casts away demons, He tells them not to tell anyone. He even told His disciples not to tell others about who He is (Mt 16:20).  I initially thought it is because during that time when He was doing His healing, it was still too early for His true identity to be revealed. After reading this verse, it became obvious to me how critical is was for Jesus that they do not go out and tell anyone about Him -in fact too critical that when the leper told others about Jesus healing him of his leprosy, this prevented Jesus from going into that town.

Can it be because when the leper told others about Jesus and his healing, people were just going to gather in large crowds with their sick to be “physically” healed but not actually listen to His Word? Yes, healing the sick and casting out demons are some of the things He did out of His love, but these are just some of His ways to make people believe Him. His Word - the Good News that He brings with Him, is far more important than the “physical” healing. For man does not live by bread alone, but by every Word that comes from the mouth of God (Mt 4:4)

Jesus also told the leper to “say” nothing to anyone, but to just “show” himself to the priest. This reminded me of when John the Baptist was in prison and he sent his disciples to ask Jesus if He is the Chosen One. In response, Jesus sent His disciples to John to tell him what they have “heard” and what they have “seen”. This has highlighted to me the importance of actions/deeds, compared to just words alone. As John Duiker said, we cannot profess God with our lips and deny Him with our lives. I could go on and on telling people about Jesus and may even quote the Bible to my advantage, but if I don’t live a life of love according to Him, I may end up like the leper who may hinder Jesus from coming to other people’s lives.

Some people may be called to proclaim Jesus by being “heard”, whilst others by being “seen”, or may be even both.  I still don’t know what God has called me for. All I know is that God wants me to focus on my relationship with Him - on being a “good soil”, so that when I receive His Word, it will bear fruit in my life for others to partake of.

Tuesday 11 February 2014

On John 15:12

By Pat Pagulayan

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

I’m just starting to realise the magnitude of understanding required to be able to even slightly comprehend this verse. Shocks. I thought I knew what love meant; and now the word “shallow” is not even apt to describe my definition of love.

I grew up believing that in order to win love and acceptance, I have to be good - even perfect. I studied hard, I worked hard, and true enough, I won the love of my parents, the compliments of my teachers, the approval of my friends. But I knew I deserved it, because I bloody well worked hard for it, that’s for sure! And because of that, I expected others to do the same: to strive to win love.

Wrong.

That attitude became a breeding ground for pride and self-righteousness, envy and jealousy. When I work hard on something and give my all to it, I expect love and acceptance in return. After all, I bloody worked hard for it so I deserve it, right?

Wrong again.

And when other people are not as hard-working, not as good, not as righteous as I am, why will they reap the same rewards that I bent over backwards for? But God’s blessing is for all; He sends rain to the righteous and the unrighteous (Mt 5:45). And when they do get the same love and acceptance (or even more) as I do, there starts envy and jealousy slowly creeping over, and there I am, whining on why they deserve such love when I’m the one who bloody works hard for it.

But the beautiful truth is, I didn’t need to work hard to win God’s love, thus I shouldn’t expect others to work hard to be loved by me.

I didn’t need to be good to be loved by God. I didn’t need to be perfect, or righteous, or faithful to win his love. And oh dear, I didn’t even need to do the right thing to be loved by Him. I am a sinner and yet He loves me. The Father’s love for me preceded everything, regardless of what I do and do not do. His love and acceptance was not based on my actions, but on what His Son has done for me, for all of us.

Thus, I must do the same: to love without prerequisites, to love without expectations, to love generously.

And learning to do so is one thing I should bloody work hard for.

But I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Phil 4:13).

God Breathed New Life Into Me

By Jean Cheng

Hello from Singapore, STAY:)

Been hearing and reading about all the amazing things that has been happening at STAY and am in constant awe of what God is doing!
Hope that I can drop by STAY one day when I visit Melbourne again, 
See old friends and the many new STAY brothers and sisters .=)
Jack has been asking me to share my farewell testimony that I shared in Melbourne last year and I will (Sorry Jack! It will happen! :P), 
In the meantime, I would like to share my Baptism by the Holy Spirit on 9 Feb 2014.

I went for a talk yesterday by Maria Vadia, from USA.
I heard about how effective she is in bringing the Holy Spirit close to the people,
And the miraculous healings that she administers in Christ’s name.
But I went not expecting anything,
Just hoping that perhaps through listening to her,
My wearied heart would find some revival to keep me going on this thesis journey.

Some of you might know that I’ve been quite down in the last few years.
It’s as though a cloud of heaviness, dysphoria, and depressive state came over me.
Accompanying that, I’ve lost my sociable nature and energy I used to have around people.
There are moments of respite and it has been getting slightly better,
But more often that not,
The heaviness remains.
And I’ve never quite felt the same as I used to.
Somehow living each day has been an effortful process compared to what it was many years ago.

One of the things we are called to do as Christians is to bring the good news and share the joy that we have with those who do not know Christ.
It is through our joy, that others might then be curious about the source of our joy.
I felt deeply ashamed that for the “strong Christian” I appear to be to others and to myself,
Joy was probably only 10% of my life.
Worries, despair, and fears 90%.
It was quite disheartening to know that even after 8 years of following Christ,
This is where I am at.
But what has always kept me going is that such judgments, I knew, came from my own pride,
Not from God.
In His eyes, I am but a baby.
He doesn’t think more or less of who I am today,
As compared to who I was before I knew Him personally,
Or even 10 years down the road when I’m hopefully even closer to Him.
If anything, He just sees each day as it is:
A brand new day to love and help me.
With that said, I want to have a spirit of joy to glorify Him,
so that has been my recent prayer.

A few days ago,
I was walking and wearing my usual glum face.
And I thought back to some moments in my past when God came to me powerfully (i.e., I knew without a doubt that God is real and close to me).
It has been so long since I have experienced Him that way.
And I judged myself as weak for asking this,
But I asked anyway –
I asked God to pour out new life into me,
To come to me powerfully,
To grip my heart once more,
To revitalize me.
I didn’t think much of that prayer (which felt more like a thought)…
… until what happened yesterday.

From the moment praise and worship began,
I was in tears… tears of despair, of weariness, of darkness, of loneliness.
When Maria started talking,
I started judging her and raising an eyebrow.
She spoke in such a “GOD CAN DO THIS. GOD CAN DO THAT” manner,
That I was like… erm… ok this feels like one of those seminars for positive thinking.
But what kept my heart still open was that she was sharing testimonies of God’s healing and saving power over people.
Somehow, I believed that she wasn’t lying about those.
Her presentation style might not be something that appealed to me,
But the evidence for her faith and convictions, I believed.

After sharing, she started to pray over us and people started to be healed – physically.
“There is a young woman in those room with problems with her right ovaries… God is healing you right now… claim it… where is this woman?”
One hand raised. 
That’s when my eyes widened.
That is just but one example.
Then she asked people who hadn’t had a personal relationship with Jesus to come forward (even if they have been baptized, they might not know who Jesus is).
And she said 3-4 people in this room at least.
My goodness.
3-4 people went up.
I wanted to go up too… not because I didn’t know Him personally,
But I don’t know… I was hungering for something.
Yet I knew that it wasn’t my invitation.

Then she asked people who haven’t been baptised by the Holy Spirit to go up.
And I wondered whether that meant me.
I have gone through confirmation (Catholic Church’s rite of baptism by the Holy Spirit) but I’ve always doubted my confirmation for boring reasons I shall not delve into here.
I continued to sit down, however.
Partly because I wasn’t sure whether or not I have been baptized by the Holy Spirit,
But mostly because I was afraid of what people might think of me if I went up.
I was afraid people would think, “WHAT? Jean who is supposed to be spiritually strong hasn’t even been baptized by the Holy Spirit?”.
My vanity and pride kept me sitting,
Meanwhile, something was tugging at my heart,
There was a desire to go up.
And I knew from experience that such heart - tugging is usually from God.
Yet, pride (i.e., fear of being thought as less) kept me sitting.
Until Maria said, “Have all of you been baptised by the Holy Spirit? Can all of you speak in tongues?”
That’s when I knew that I could no longer deny the tugging in my heart.

I have been praying and asking for the gift of tongues for 8 years now.
I’ve always wondered why God never gave me this gift,
While it came easily to some others.
I wondered if I was not open enough to Him.
At times I believed that it will happen in His time.
At other times, I believed that it will happen for others,
But not me.
(Sometimes when you wait for something for so long and it still hasn’t happened,
You want to know why and when no explanation is given,
You start to come up with reasons for it.
For me, those reasons often become self-attacks,
Such as having to do with some badness or impurity inherent in me.
But faith kept me still hoping that God will one day give it to me too.)
So when she said that,
I felt that was my invitation.
I went up immediately.
Between my desire to look good and my desire for the gift of tongues,
I choose the latter.

Up there, I still didn’t quite like her style and how she prayed over people.
People around me were getting slained when she prayed over them,
And when she prayed over me I felt her push me!
And I was thinking “!!! You push me!?"
So I stood my ground and refused to fall unless I knew for sure that it was God and not her who made me fall.
I didn’t fall.
I didn’t feel anything. 
I went back to my seat thinking, "okay, I don’t have the gift. 
Oh well. 
Back to square one.
No loss I guess."
  
But then she called us back up again saying we have the gift of tongues and the Holy Spirit in us.
And we have to practice speaking in tongues.
I was like, “NOOOOOO! That is so embarrassing!”
What if people are looking at me and I look spastic?!
And in any case, what was I supposed to do?
Make the same sounds she was making?
I didn’t want to just imitate her.
But at this point she said we all speak tongues in our own unique language with God.
And everyone’s is different.
And that made me feel that okay… I can be me.
I don’t have to imitate anyone.
I was curious enough to want to know what my own language of tongues would sound like.
And so, feeling self-conscious and silly,
I started to just say “alleluia” over and over again,
And she told us not to think but to focus on God with our hearts…
And so I did and after awhile... 
Yes. 
My mouth and my tongue took a life of its own and I was no longer saying alleluia.
It was going in all directions and I was crying (no longer out of despair and dysphoria but in awe of the sacredness and holiness of the space I was in).
The more I focused on God,
The faster and more vigorous my prayers in tongue went.
When she made us pray over each other in our new language,
The more I focused on the person I was praying before me,
The faster my tongue went and I couldn’t stop crying…..

….Me.
Jean.
After 8 years.
I have finally received the gift of tongues and used it to pray over someone.

And just when I thought that this gift was incredible already,
She suddenly asked for my name and said she had a prophesy for me.
She said I will go around testifying and talking about God to people,
And I will travel nations doing that.
Her words shot through my heart and moved me to more crying (yes, more).
Because whenever people ask me what my career or passion is,
I know that I love psychology and want to do it.
But if you ask me what my deepest deepest desire is,
It is to speak about God to people, to testify to Him.
AND to travel to different countries to do that.
I don’t even know why the travelling is a part of this desire but it has always been.
Yet, with the PhD these last few years,
As well as an impending marriage and thoughts of “settling down”,
I buried that dream, and thought of focusing on the “practicalities of life”.
(And don't get me wrong,
there is nothing less but everything sacred and beautiful about the daily routine of life that many of us have been called to- 
if we have been called to it.)
To justify why testifying and travelling wouldn’t happen,
I told myself that maybe I was being impure and vain when I dreamt it.
But all this time, even as I fell in love with psychology,
If anyone asked me what my deepest passion was, 
it was exactly that which this woman who did not know me proclaimed.

I went into the talk,
Rather empty, lost, and soul-less.
I came out not just with a gift of tongues but with a vigour and passion that I used to have when I allowed myself to dream this dream.
It was as if God was not only reassuring me that this dream is good,
But reminding me that the key to my joy is to follow my heart’s deepest longing.

I don’t know how it is going to happen.
But I have faith that at the right time,
Certain doors will close and certain doors will open.
May I entrust and grow closer in discerning His voice in my life.
Meantime, I will finish this thesis.
I don’t know how,
I am most likely engaging in some positive-talk now to psyche myself,
But it will happen.
Because God is with me. 
And together, we will live my heart’s dreams.

“So if anyone is a new creature in Christ, what is old has passed away.
Behold, all things have been made new.” (2 Corinthians 5: 17)


P.s. Please keep me in your prayers.
For while I am renewed in strength,
The cross remains and I will need much prayers and support to get to the finishing line.
Although I am convicted,
Doubts will come and there will be days where I will be weak and need to be carried by your faith to dispel those lies.
At the end of my life,
I know that who I am will not be by my own making,
But by the making, giving and love of God and the people around me.
May my life be nothing but a testimony that God is real, good, 
and that with the same love He has for me,  
He has for every person in this world.