What I Learnt from the Refugees

by Budi S (Vincent)

 

 

I have put it off for so long to write my experience in visiting the refugees, but a nudge in my heart always encouraged me to do it. I know I owe it to Him who has been so good and faithful to me. I started refugee visits around 12 months ago infrequently and did not have any expectations that I would learn anything. To my surprise, I learnt a few interesting “life” lessons because I rarely reflect and I took life for granted. I never realised that my life was and has been so good to me. Most of the time, I only look up and compare my life to those on the top. I forget there are a lot of less fortunate people who envy me and are willing to do anything to swap their positions with mine.

 

I had some wonderful lessons from my experience. Firstly, I learnt how to be grateful and to be content with “whatever” my condition is at the moment. Most of the time when I visit the refugees, they are still able to smile and they don't consider themselves as in the worst case condition. They offer me a cup of tea and the little sweets they have. If they are able to do it, certainly we can do more than that. Even if you are considered as the poor in this developed country, we can lend our shoulder and ear to them. This is not going to cost us an arm and a leg.

 

Furthermore, have you realised how long they have to wait in the detention centres? Some have 3 or more years in waiting season without being able to work or study. I cannot imagine being in wait and not being able to do anything. For me, it feels like wasting time. Living in this instantaneous age skews our perception of what common life is. We forget there is a season for everything. It is a reminder for me every time I feel impatient, such as being stuck in the traffic or waiting for a job promotion.

 

Lastly, I learnt a valuable lesson of how to be persistent and determined in life. I learnt this down the road after meeting more refugees. Few of them are highly educated and from middle socio economic strata, yet they are willing to let go of everything they own and come to a new country for their sons'/daughters' better future. These are selfless parents and good role models. For them, their hardship is not the end of the world. Isn’t this spirit what we are striving for? What do you do at this stage of your life? Is it something worthwhile?

 

Well my friends, I hope these sharing is valuable to you and I do not mean to teach or criticise, but to encourage you in everything you do. Each of us has only one life and do not take your life for granted. I know the topic of refugees is hard to comprehend for everyone, but this is the bright side I learnt from. There is a silver lining in every cloud. God bless!

 

 

 

Reflections over Christmas

by Nathan Gardner

Dear everyone at FORM,

I send you all my greetings from snow-covered Germany. It has now been two months since my last moving day, but I remember the day very well as it was also my final day with Man With A Van. Working with you all (as well as MWAV’s master-and-commander, Tim Bishop) and partaking in your enthusiasm and friendship (and KFC) made for an extraordinary ‘last shift’. Thank you all for this wonderful last day, but also for a year filled with powerful meaning and memories.

Christmas has just passed and I hope it was filled with much love and merriment. For me it is celebrating the importance of family, friends and love. Spending this time separated from my immediate friends and family in Australia, though reunited with relatives in Germany, made for a beautifully bittersweet occasion. One thing I would like to share with you all was an experience I had reading Luke 2:1-14 with my Aunt and Uncle in Germany.

Though some of you may already know, I feel I should state that I am non-theistic and that one thing I found great about FORM was that I felt welcomed into your group regardless of this. Your sincerity to help others reaches through the differences of faith--not just to me but the people FORM helps--and I admire this.

Spending Christmas with my Aunt and Uncle in Germany, I learned that reading these passages before dinner on Christmas Eve was a family tradition. As a long lost nephew, I was invited to read it aloud (in German of course!). When I finished reading, I looked up and saw that my Aunt, Uncle and cousin had a twinkling of tears in their eyes. At this sight, I too was quite struck by emotion. As a part of their family that had long been separated by time and space, I understood the significance of participating in this family tradition had for them and it was quite overwhelming. I could read their love and acceptance of me in their faces. But my feelings were also entwined with what I had just read. I, like those two travellers in the story, was seeking shelter in the land of my ancestors and the significance reverberated through the sentiment felt in the room. I kept thinking of how grateful Mary and Joseph must have been, even for a manger and before long my thoughts turned to others who for one reason or another were seeking shelter in strange lands.

With these thoughts still fresh in my mind, Han’s reflection on FORM’s recent Christmas hamper delivery arrived in my inbox the next morning. Through her words I remembered my own similar feelings and experiences. I am so happy that she enjoyed her time as much as she did. I only wish that I was there alongside her and everyone else on that day. It sounded so wonderful. But it also looked so wonderful! In the photos I saw the enthusiasm of my friends at FORM and the faces of the families that I had helped before on previous moving days. I saw some of the parents I spoke to and the kids I played with. I even saw one particular couch that I still remember being quite difficult to get in! Who double bolts feet into couches?! And at odd angles?! (removalists’ anguish)

But to return to the themes of that passage and Christmas; of shelter, family and love for all (even those born humbly deserve to be received by kings) are themes that I think everyone at FORM is quite familiar with. Moreover they are expressed through the helpful and important work done for these new and vulnerable members of our community. Indeed anyone can express these themes simply by recognising refugees as new and vulnerable members of our community, rather than some abstract, political issue.

It therefore pains me to learn that in Germany, refugees are also politicised into an abstract issue. This year Germany has received some 200,000 refugees mostly from the conflict in Syria. This number of refugees is higher than any other Western nation has accepted or processed. In response refugees in Germany have become entwined with fears of loss of national identity and danger (similar to some sections of Australia). Many people have taken to the streets to protest the loss of “their land”, though ironically most often in parts of Germany with a low number of immigrants. It is tragic that in these parts there seems little acknowledgment of the real loss the asylum seekers bear.

However, like in Australia, many groups in Germany of varying size and scope are lending a hand. It reminds me that the need to help people in need is global in scale and common the world over--but we each can play our part. FORM should be congratulated for creating a grassroots community that has enriched the lives of everyone involved and should take great solace in knowing that throughout the world there are others bringing help and comfort to those who ask for it. It is in these binding qualities of humanity that I place my faith for a safer and more prosperous future. 

Next year I hope you continue to meet great people; people who beneath their tragedies remain interesting, funny and inspiring and others who are strong enough to help, compassionate enough to care and thoughtful enough to listen. Next year I hope you keep doing what you’ve all been doing; seeing not an anonymous, abstract issue, but people. Real people.

All of you guys should be proud about what you do! You are (sometimes too humbly) doing some incredible work! Jack, Nicole, Jess and everyone, take a bow!

I miss your fun and enthusiasm but am so glad to have known it. As I travel through these strange lands, receiving shelter in the humanity of others, please know that the memories that I’ve formed with you are also keeping me warm against all this snow on the other side of the world.

Nathan

Man With(out) A Van

6 Christmas Bears & 100 Stockings - Reflection for FORM

by Han Nguyen

On the 21^st of December, I had the honour and privilege of being invited to distribute Christmas hampers across the northern suburbs of Melbourne with Friends of Refugees Melbourne (FORM). I honestly didn’t know what to expect but couldn’t resist the opportunity to engage directly with refugees in Melbourne. Nathan had worked alongside FORM on several occasions moving furniture for Man with a Van and had visited detention centres on other occasions. Having heard so much about this group and having been so kindly invited by Nicole to join them was all that I needed to rid of any initial apprehension.

So holding onto my six Christmas bears I had collected over the years, I got off the train at Southern Cross Station and walked into the chaotic office of FORM where organisation, excitement, commitment were mixed amongst the friendly people, all of whom introduced themselves to me, an obvious new face to a cohesive yet welcoming cohort. Instead feeling out of place, I tried my hardest to remember all the names that were thrown at me, attempting to place invisible nametags on everyone’s shirts. I eased into my new role as a newbie by asking if I could be of any assistance. Nicole suggested that I talk to another organiser, Andrea, about my bears so that they could be included in the wrapped up Christmas presents for children.

Amongst all the enthusiasm and last minute organisation, I was unable to get hold of Andrea. I set down my bears in a corner near the food hampers, Christmas stockings and wrapped up boxes and toys. Groups composed of a leader, a driver and fellow volunteers were encouraged to get together and collect the appropriate items for their visits. Before we were to disperse, Jack kindly gathered the volunteers for a prayer; primarily to wish the families we were visiting a safe and joyous time during this festive season. Despite my limited religious beliefs, it felt like an appropriate way to begin our journey to spread as much love as humanly possible; after all, isn’t any kind of well-wishes and hope a variation of a prayer? Regardless of who we believe will listen to our hopes or grant our wishes, the sincerity of these sentiments is the underlying message.

Nicole the leader, Vincent the driver and I ventured towards the outer-Northern suburbs; our first visit was to a young Iranian man who lived with his extended family. He cradled his 9-month-old niece lovingly and told us about his wishes to find a special someone to start his own family with. It is such a universal feeling to want to love and be loved in return – a sentiment that is undeniably inherent and pronounced during the holiday season. As we listened to him talk about his life and aspirations for the future, I couldn’t help but detect faint melancholy in his voice and the way in which he looked at us. Maybe it was just me – it’s really hard to tell sometimes. Even so, it was such a privilege to listen to this man talk about his experiences and for him to open up to strangers. We took a photo with him, his beautiful nieces and mother before heading off to the next family.

Nearby, another Iranian family welcomed us to their home. A young mother and her 7-month-old baby (as of the 21^st of December, 7 months and 29 days old) sat at home as her husband and two children went shopping. Her English was very limited but we were able to talk about her children. I saw on the mantel a school photo of her eldest daughter in a school in the western-suburbs of Melbourne and asked her whether she had previously lived in Sunshine. She said they lived there around 7 months ago – I curiously asked if the baby was born at Sunshine Hospital. I felt a ridiculous and tenuous connection with the child after finding out we were born in the same hospital, 22 years apart. But then again, where is the tenuous connection between both having immigrant parents  (in this case, refugee) who spoke little English and living in a country that both celebrated and opposed multi-culturalism? Where is the tenuous connection of growing up with a dual identity and being forced to choose sides during times of social and political tension? I sympathised with these children because I foresaw future experiences that they would inevitable go through; confusion, indignation, anger, frustration, hurt, betrayal – all waiting for them to deal with as children of refugees and as first generation Australians. 

The young mother called her husband on the phone to tell him that we had come to visit. He promptly returned with his precocious seven year old daughter and shy yet cheeky five year old son. The children tore into the Christmas stocking with renewed enthusiasm and thanked us; their typical childish antics pushed back my worries and allowed me to see that although they will experience certain hardship as a result of their circumstance, they will also go through everything every other child in Australian will go through. And that a commonality between everyone – something that is universal and pure and undeniably human – can be a comforting thing. As we said goodbye yet again, the father said to us in a low voice, “I will never forget your help”. Nicole was visibly moved. After we drove away from our waving hosts, Nicole reiterated what the father had said and breathlessly squeezed out a single ‘wow’. We were left to think about that as we journeyed onto our last home.

We were expected at a house that Nicole had visited before. The family greeted her warmly as Vincent and I were introduced and welcomed into their home. Nathan had also helped out during a moving day some time ago as well and as I sat on the couch (did he move that couch?) watching the children joyfully hug my bear and open the gifts, I couldn’t help but smile at the thought that both he and I had somehow contributed to this family, in our own small way. It astounds me how readily the children accepted us momentarily into our lives to forge hopefully special memories; it astounds me that I was given the opportunity to do this for free. It really is unbelievably inconceivable sometimes the situations you find yourself in during parts of your life.

I mulled over this lingering thought on the way back to the church early in the evening. As we respectively internalised the events of the day, Nicole asked me what my stance was on refugees in Australia. Not often am I asked this directly, most times this conversation is elicited through discussions on current affairs or university classrooms. Our experiences are our best arguments and those in a privileged position sometimes take on the role of representing those without a voice. I told Nicole that my parents went through a refugee experience during a time where anti-immigration sentiments were rampant with notions of a White Australia policy frighteningly at the forefront of political discussions. Therefore, I grew up with a defensive sense of activism for migrants who chose Australia – for whatever reason – to be their new home. However, regardless of one’s background, the foundation of humanity is the ability to empathise with others, especially during times of hardship and struggle. Do we need to repeatedly remind people this? How can such an integral part of our humanity be so disregarded?

This is why I felt like it was such a privilege to be a part of these home visits.  My home visits may have ended, but many people’s struggles continue to be a frighteningly constant battle. We must remind ourselves that although at times Australia champions itself as a land of opportunity, mateship, camaraderie and multiculturalism, none of these are exclusive to our country but are representative of humankind; that as a country that holds hope for those in need of help, we must to be aware of our responsibility and act accordingly.

Merry Christmas - The Year of STAY / Friends of Refugees

By Jack Chui

[This post is a bit disjoint because its just some of my raw thoughts blended into a Christmas sharing, plus my inadequate writing skills]

Its becoming tradition that I write a message/letter around this time as gift to all my friends instead of the usual Christmas gift. As a leader of church ministry (STAY and Friends of Refugees) it has a been a busy year in particular towards the end - just have to read some of the entries in the blog to see what's been going on.

The end of year / Christmas season is meant to be a period of wind down, but for ministry it can tend to be the wind up as Christmas is a key church season. The weekly STAY cell groups, organising outreach for Friends of Refugees, STAY retreat, socials and meet ups with other leaders has left me bit tired even weary and looking forward to a break. 

While it looks like the group does too much and has done so throughout the year, it has been a sign of a lot of activity and life (thankfully not all of it driven by me). My tiredness while concerning is a sign that I and others around me have put in a lot of work and given it to their capacity (or even beyond) to build the Kingdom of God on earth. All this was not unexpected with a growing group and it has been a privilege and honour to oversee it all and share in some of the joys that have come from it.

If I look back since the half year report card I wrote this year, I would say STAY and Friends of Refugees has gone through a time of maturity. Nothing has majorly changed in what the different ministries do since the start of the yea and everyone seems to be getting use to the pattern of activity and work that's required. Of course, there have been some changes within the ministries itself which is exciting to watch however the 'excitement' that was there at the start of the year where 'we could do anything' was a commonly used phrase has mellowed away.

Such is likely a cycle for such ministries (I've never been through such amazing growth in youth/young people's ministry before) but such growth cannot keep going forever or at least in the same way. The STAY and Friends of Refugees groups are about the same size, with newcomers replacing those who have to leave Melbourne city. While the numbers are the same, the relationship dynamics are changing as the time in the group increases and so there's a greater need for pastoral care.

The people in the ministries are no longer totally made up of people I know very well as they have gotten too large to have time to spend with each one getting to know them. I have relegated myself to the operational parts of organising (which I seem to be getting better and better at because its the primary thing I do) and getting to know the leaders so that they can go out and do the real work of bringing God to young people. It doesn't sound the most exciting life, but like a good servant, I've been trained to just keep going.

There were times when I complained about the amount of work that I needed to do, that there was no one else to do it, and if there was they were just not available to be able to help. There was pressure on other areas of my life - relationship, family and work to fit everything in and I'm blessed with their tolerance. I learned though, that I shouldn't be complaining if I'm doing this for God and His Kingdom. As St. Augustine said - Pray as if everything depended on God and work as if everything depended on you.

I hear people who I've encountered in ministry talk about the amazing community and family feel of STAY/Friends of Refugees and how it has welcomed people from everywhere to journey and serve together. For me, I am most happy that the ministries has helped fulfil some of my personal vision for it - and that is for 'the lost sheep'. I've talked about it from time to time and its an interesting impression which God has reminded me of very early on this year about 'the lost sheep'.

I wondered about how my personal vision of 'lost sheep' could be accommodated by STAY/Friends of Refugees and the other leaders within them. The simple vision of STAY is to bring God to young people. Jesus mission was primarily for the lost sheep - those who are lonely, outcast, sinners, the difficult... I just want to do what Jesus did and bring others to do the same.

STAY and Friends of Refugees are full of lost sheep now and the amazing thing about it is just watching them change through God's work in the ministries and through the year. There are people in STAY whom I never thought I would be able to meet or thought would come to a place like STAY, and yet, some of them end up 'staying'. The leaders have grown so much, some from next to no leadership experience into seasoned warriors. Many have shared their testimonies privately and some more publicly which is very encouraging as a sign that the ministries are bringing God to young people. I hope that the focus on 'lost sheep' will keep the heart of STAY / Friends of Refugees in the right place to be able to fulfil God's mission through the ministries.

When I look in STAY however, I don't see the lost sheep any more because they're all with the 99 (together in the group). The lost sheep are outside the group in places we haven't reached. There are many out there who are still to be reached and so I feel that is where I might go to see where this 'lost sheep' vision might take me.

STAY and Friends of Refugees are in a position where I'm not leading everything (like I just about was at the beginning of the year) and for the leaders to grow and for STAY / Friends of Refugees to grow, they will need their leaders with bigger visions and more energy to take it to where God wants it to be used for. By stepping away more, I won't be holding the ministries to what I am capable of because the ministry like all things can only grow as much as the leader. Part of this direction is due to my personal tiredness (what I'm feeling at the moment) but we'll see where God takes me next year =)

It has been a wonderful year in STAY and Friends of Refugees and I'm glad to have been a part of it with each of you. Thanks for your prayers, support and company through the year and I wish you and your families a most blessed Christmas and Joyful new year.

Sincerely,

Jack

The Spirit of Generosity

by Emma Jenkins

The Spirit of Generosity.

The Generosity of Spirit

Beyond my every expectation

Friends of Refugees

Is the power of human kindness

The joy in giving

The light in happiness

Buoyant and somewhat bewildered, I wondered how it is that one can derive so much fulfillment from so little.

Of course, I’m not talking of the enormous effort that goes into the logistical success of Friends of Refugees.  No, what I want to highlight is my opening points, this culmination of generosity that is exchanged between both recipients of goodwill.

What becomes really apparent to me during my experience is the beauty within this “Spirit of Generosity” and how it transpires and transcends into the “Generosity of Spirit”.  Much like alchemy, basic material needs are transformed into something worth so much more.

It’s the steadfast braveness of opening one’s own heart to a perfect stranger. The enormous embrace and respect in sharing one mans’ spirit with another. When you see all preconceived ideas, barriers, religious inclinations and status quo’s simply melt away, evaporate. Allowing a purity of heart to shine through, resulting in a free flowing incandescent energy that gives you a true sense of living in the moment. We become at one with another and at one with the universe. Remarkably, in return,

we actually deepen our connection with ourselves where we recalibrate, leaving a renewed sense of self with a greater clarity in focus.

It’s a simple and ancient formula and it is called LOVE.

What is actually provided at Friends of Refugees is love. From Friends of Refugees to Refugees and returned 100 fold to Friends of Refugees.

The world needs more of it.

If one can derive so much fulfillment from doing so little, why would we not share it more freely?

Thank you for sharing this and yourselves with me.

In practicing the “Spirit of Generosity” we become  “Generosity of Spirit”

On a cellular level, we can be the change we want to see in the world.

Visiting day and Moving day with Friends of Refugees

by Lia Anderson

On 6 July, I attended the Friends of Refugees visiting day. My group visited about five different houses from the Dandenong region. We met some lovely Afghani men who were living in share houses together. They were really happy to have us visit and were very hospitable, offering us food and drink during Ramadan, which I thought was particularly generous! In particular we visited a man who used to be in the Special Forces who showed us some amazing photos from his village, we visited a house of five, where we all couldn't stop laughing at the "comedian" of the house and another house of about five where their friend, who has been living in Australia for a lot longer, gave them his washing machine and fridge, because they needed it more (the friend came over to their house to wash his clothes).

I met some really lovely and interesting people who were still able to have a laugh with us, even though they missed their families back home terribly and were worried about their future, and many not being able to work despite having skills or qualifications and wanting to work just like they did back home.

On July 13, Moving day was upon us and we were back visiting some of the people we met on visiting day and also some new faces. The bunny hop plan worked really well and we spent a lot more time visiting rather than just donating which was really great and was clearly appreciated by those we visited.

Some of the houses of men, were kind enough to share their meal with us when they broke for fasting. The food was delicious and it was wonderful trying authentic afghani cuisine! They are teaching each other to cook because back in their home country, the women did all the cooking! We donated a lot of warm clothes and blankets as well as furniture, beds and rugs. It looks like the most needed for next time will be warm clothes, blankets/doonas as well as digital TVs and computers. It must be so boring and lonely having to sit at home all day and not being able to work, especially in a foreign country.

Thanks F.O.R for having me again and I look forward to next visiting and moving day!

My First Refugee Visit

By Jeremy Pierce

Unlike a “Holy Spirit” retreat or “STAY” where I go with an intention of receiving something, like being filled with the Holy Spirit, learning more about my faith and having the opportunity to learn from others. (* If you were thinking I go for tea, coffee, or snacks  NJ !)

The friends of refugees visit for me was an opportunity to give back and get involved, to do something for our community.

On arrival at our first house, I was astonished to meet with someone who had a friend move in with him. His friend brought along all the essentials for their home. He was polite, grateful and expressed such heartfelt thanks for all the support he received, said that he didn’t need anything and urged us to continue to help those less fortunate.

This set the atmosphere, which resonated with all the subsequent visits encountering one person after the next, full of cheer, gratefulness and love. People who have left their families, loved ones and everything that they are familiar with, seeking a safe environment to bring their families to. At one of the houses we met people who were eager to assist FORM as they spoke 5-6 languages, it's unfathomable to me who only speak one and has been afforded so many opportunities.

I find myself in the autumn winter of my life and saw myself Friday night scrolling through my phone book looking for someone to go to coffee with, someone who I could talk to and have a laugh with. This is after sitting at home for one week.

Can you imagine refugees being in detention centres for 5 plus years, now in Melbourne and still not afforded the right to work, there are so many obstacles that they face, one would imagine that they would be negative and despondent.

I saw only love, joy, and a longing to connect with someone.

I urge everyone to step out of their comfort zone and make a difference in their community, let's change someone’s season from winter to spring, share the light we have in our lives, let's fill someone’s cup, touch someone less fortunate. 

John 13:34
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.