Christmas and New Year Message

By Jack Chui

I have received many gifts and well wishes from various people for Christmas/NY and I have struggled to return gifts in kind. As such, I feel obliged to write something as I had started last Christmas as a sharing of myself as gift to my friends and family. This will be a fairly lengthy post as I'm part of several ministries which I'll be writing to so if you don't have time, just skip to the relevant section.

1. STAY
2. Friends of Refugees
3. Emmaus Cell Group
4. Other / Personal

It might be more appropriate to write such personal sharings via email as I did last year but this ministry blog is a good vehicle to promote the young adults STAY ministry. Very few people would actually read this post even if I link it to them and even if it is available to anyone in the world to see for only the ones that care will read... just the way blogs work...

STAY

I once asked a friend a while back how her spiritual life was going and she surprised me by saying that she wanted to be more broken, because if she was more broken, then God can do His work to make her whole again. Its so masochistic but I understand more of her words through working in STAY.

I had started the year with admittedly little care for STAY but I was focused on building the Friends of Refugees outreach ministry which was the purpose of my role as Outreach Leader in STAY. My support for other STAY activities was at a face only and slowly the ministry fell in numbers. It was difficult to see any fruits for the labour. Halfway during the year I felt it was time to abandon the ministry as a lost cause but then I asked if this was what God wanted me to do. More than once, this new quote was presented to me:

“God has not called me to be successful; He has called me to be faithful." - Mother Teresa

We are a broken ministry/people but we were not abandoned by God and taking inspiration from that, I set down more of my pride to be successful (or at least not a failure) to fight for STAY until God waves the big red stop sign - if and when.

I wanted to see more of God's work in my life and that can be best done by doing the difficult if not impossible. Young adults / Youth ministry in the Catholic church is a tough business given how few of these groups exist around us and how little we seemed to progress over the 3+ years since STAY began. It will have to be by God's doing to really build STAY. This year I saw how God is faithful and does not disappoint.

Over a few months this year, God brought back another leader in Jean. We have started this blog to allow the group's gifts in writing to be used. We run cell group every week on Sunday at midday instead of twice a month. A few more people are coming to STAY and more regularly and while still small in number, they seem to be the right people which God wants us to build relationship with. God really is still here!!!

So this sharing is to give glory to God for His great blessings and work in STAY through our brokenness, through the leaders and through each member that makes STAY what it is and will become. Thank you for your support over the year, whether through attending and helping out at church or just praying for us. Please continue to pray for us and the leaders that God will continue to make STAY 'whole' - that God will use STAY to reach young people where He needs us to.

I don't know where STAY is meant to go in terms of direction but I'm sure God has great and ambitious plans for us. I hope to continue to write in this blog more regularly so to reach out more young people than just the ones who can attend in person at our cell group on Sunday - especially to minister to those who have been to STAY before - and who knows who else it can reach.

Friends of Refugees

What started as the outreach ministry of STAY is now known as as Friends of Refugees because it has volunteers which extend far beyond STAY and my beloved St. Augustine's church. Looking back, it is truly amazing how this ministry has transformed and grown to what it is today - mostly because this outreach did not really exist at the same time last year.

God seemed to provide the people for the ministry as and when it needed it. I sometimes run around a bit like a headless chicken worrying about getting everyone ready there and on time but God seems to make things just seem to work out.

What's more, many of the people that volunteered through the year were people that I had not known before at the start of the year so people just came from everywhere. Through the year, God showed me that while the relationships I tend to have with people are quite shallow, that He can make it wide instead to reach out and draw the people required for this ministry. God showed me that through others and the wide network, He can accomplish more than just through me working on my own. To be honest, I am far from the best helper and carer for the refugees in detention, but somehow, God has drawn so many others that can minister to the refugees far better than I can.

We now visit the detention centre twice a month instead of once. We had to do this as the number of 'friends' kept increasing and the detention centre staff found it difficult to safely visit the detainees. We have now started to visit the refugees that have come out of detention and we're seeing opportunities to be of aid to them as they start with nothing in our community.

I wish to thank all of you that have in any way volunteered throughout the year, to grow the outreach and make us capable of so much. thank you also for your encouragement, of myself, the other leaders and Father Peter who continues to drive this outreach. It is a real great honour to be Father Peter's "hands and feet" to help him minister to these much 'forgotten' people. Father Peter seems to have great plans for the group in 2013 and I'm looking forward to the challenge so I can witness more of God's work through us. Please continue to pray for the refugees and their families - that they be treated justly and fairly as we are treated as free individuals. Thank you for your prayers for this ministry - the blessings and provisions we have received in Friends of Refugees are a wonderful fruit of those prayers.

I was hoping to share some of my recent experiences of the outreach to the refugees but this section will get too long and a brief version would not do it justice. I will look to share these in other posts.

Emmaus Cell Group

This group is like a backbone for my spiritual life because they have always seemed to be there for me like as if God uses this group to speak to me when I can't listen to God. This year has been no exception.

Like the other ministries, this group has been greatly blessed most directly in numbers as we're now 2 cell groups because we're too big to be in one. As much as we'd like the whole church to be part of a cell group, I think God has only provided a few to join us and stay with us because they are the right people for the group.

This ministry, unlike the others I am part of is at a very mature stage in my opinion and the stability (which is welcome) provides a different challenge for me. With the ups of the blessings there are also the downs. Pride has emerged as my 'root cause' weakness and it has shown where I have mistaken the success of the group as the result of the quality of my leadership. My sincere thanks for correcting me, for voicing your opinions to help me grow as a leader. I do not take it badly in that I'm no good, but it is encouraging because you speak in love and care for me of which I'm honoured and grateful to receive.

I pray that this group will continue to grow from strength to strength, that new leaders can rise and minister to other groups as we already minister to the church as a group already. I love how as a group, we can build deep relationships with each other although I may not be part of them, because the group is so so much greater than me.

Thank you for being there for me, for coming every Tuesday evening, for making time every Tuesday evening to share yourselves with each other and for letting God minister to me and the others in the group through you.

Something I have to discern is whether I should continue leading this group. When I first started leading this group 3 years ago, I had a belief that I was doing this temporarily and that I was holding this place until the 'true' leader would come and lead the group. I have learned much and carried that over to the other ministries which are bearing much fruit. Please continue to pray for me and the future of Emmaus Cell Group.

Other / Personal

Just writing the above took a while and as such it wasn't the easiest to write. I guess it shows how much ministry I'm involved in and how little quality time I might be able to devote to each. Yet God has been very gracious to me to give me the energy to be able to take on such things and use the little I give to each ministry to do His work. I seem to be in the right place, time and situation to be able to do so much - I live close to church, work (just about everything), live alone and so have more time to give to others outside my family and am greatly blessed at work, health and in my faith. Its like God has put me where He wants me. There will come a time when I won't be able to do so much or such activities so I think I should do them while I can.

I ended last year saying I would focus on 3 things - love, wisdom and courage. I am happy to say that I've improved on all 3 fronts - and they are big leaps by my standards (perhaps because I came from a low base...). I have learned to love myself more, to value myself as a very unique design of God and so try to help others value their own uniqueness and beauty in God. I have come to realise in wisdom that I have very little control of the people and things that happen around me and that God has ultimate control and so can do anything. I'm courageously more bolder in doing more things, especially crazy things for me like sharing so personally in a blog, visiting refugees homes and singing at church! It was a year of slow growth for me and thankfully in the right direction.

Those 3 things are by no means accomplished but a new year brings an opportunity to develop other deficiencies. The first is Prayer. I would say that I am praying less now that I was at the start of the year. A lot of it is situational which tends to relegate God to the fix it person or the emergency department. One might think that for all the ministry I do and the time I spend at church that I would be praying more - I'm afraid not... Yet still, God is gracious in still providing even when I don't pray. His grace is enough, but I know I could do so much more if I had a stronger prayer life. I must have a whole army praying for me and the ministries I'm part of for such blessing to be bestowed on me.

The second would be Relationship. I've described how I have wide but shallow relationships - its not such a bad thing, but in a way it is also a reflection of my relationship with God. I tend to leave the deeper stuff to other people in my wide network but this does not really help when I need to develop a relationship with my girlfriend. 

The last because there is always 3 =) is Care. Through the year, I've friends who travelled through much brokenness, grief, heartache, loss, illness and yet I've struggled to lend them my support let alone pray for them. I seem to care with my brain but less so with my heart but that could be the way God has designed me. Its just tougher that way.

I wish to thank each of you for your friendship, love, support and prayers. There is some strength that comes from them which allows me to keep fighting in the ministries I'm leading and so I'll continue to need your prayers. I don't mean this to be a selfish pleading for prayers, but something that will help keep me going. I pray that each of you can see the fruits of your prayers for me and even be the fruits themselves. Thank you God for all your blessings!

Wishing you and your families a most blessed Christmas and joyful New Year. Wherever you are and whoever you're with do take care and I wish you all God's blessings in the year to come.

The Meaning of Advent

By Jean Cheng

A beautiful article I'd like to share with you about the meaning of Advent. =)


Advent - A Time to Learn How to Wait
2007-12-09
By Ron Roheiser

Carlo Carretto, the renowned spiritual writer, spent many years living alone as a hermit in the Sahara desert. He wrote a number of books from that place of solitude, including one entitled, Letters from the Desert. In that book, he has a message for those of us who live busy lives in the world. "What is God trying to say to us in our busy lives?" He suggests this: "Be patient! Learn to wait - for each other, for love, for happiness, for God!"

Learn to wait! That's not something we do easily and many of our problems flow from that. We often don't wait properly for things.

Annie Dillard shares this story about proper waiting: She had been watching a butterfly emerge from its cocoon and was fascinated by the process until she grew impatient with how long it was taking and, to speed things up, took a candle and heated the cocoon, albeit very gently.

The experiment worked, but it was a mistake in the long run. The butterfly emerged more quickly; however, because adding heat violated something within the natural process, the butterfly was born with wings too weak to fly. Haste and prematurity had stunted and deformed a natural process. Some things can't be rushed.

Dillard understood immediately what had gone wrong. A certain chastity had been violated. Impatience had triggered an irreverence that had interfered with and damaged the natural order of things. In essence, the Christmas gift had been opened too early; the bride had been slept with before the wedding; a process that needed an allotted period of time had been short-circuited. There hadn't been enough advent.

Advent means waiting. Among other things, it celebrates the idea that the messiah must be born from a virgin. Why? Is sex something unworthy of God? If Jesus had been born in a natural way, would that somehow have given him less dignity? This is a dark underside in some spiritualities, but Jesus' birth from a virgin has nothing to do with that.

Scripture and Christian tradition emphasize that Jesus was born of a virgin to underscore the fact that he had no human father and also to teach an important truth, namely, that in order for something sublime to be born there must, first, be a proper chastity, a proper time of waiting, a season of advent. Why?

The answer lies in properly understanding chastity. Chastity is not, first of all, something to do with sex. Chastity has to do with how we experience reality in general, all experience. To be chaste is to have proper reverence - towards God, towards each other, towards nature, towards ourselves, towards reality in general, and towards sex.

Lack of chastity is irreverence, in any area of life, sex included. And reverence is a lot about proper waiting. We can see this by looking at its opposite: To lack chastity, to be irreverent, is to be impatient, selfish, callous, immature, undisciplined, or boorish in any way so that our actions deprive someone else of his or her full uniqueness, dignity, and preciousness. And we do this every time we short-circuit waiting.

Thus, it is understandable why the prime analogate for chastity is proper reverence in the area of sex. Sex, because it so deeply affects the soul, speaks most loudly about chastity or lack of it. Sex is only chaste when it is not short-circuited by impatience, selfishness, or lack of respect. Sadly, because sex is so powerful, these things are often short-circuited. We violate chastity in sex whenever there is prematurity, unfair pressure, subtle manipulation, crass force, taking without giving, posturing an intimacy we don't mean, lack of respect for previous commitments, disregard for the wider relationships of family and community, or failure to respect long-range happiness and health. Annie Dillard's metaphor basically captures it: There is a fault in our chastity when we put a candle to the cocoon so as to unnaturally rush the process.

Chastity is about proper waiting and waiting is about patience in carrying the tensions and frustrations we suffer as we live the unfinished symphony that constitutes our lives.

There are some wonderful refrains in apocalyptic literature around the importance of waiting. Before the messiah can be conceived, gestated, and given birth to, there must always be a proper time of waiting, a necessary advent, a certain quota of suffering, which alone can create the proper virginal space within which the messiah can be born: "God is never in a hurry!" "Every tear brings the messiah closer!" "It is with much groaning of the flesh that the life of the spirit is brought forth!"

All of these phrases say the same thing: What's sublime depends upon there first having been some sublimation; a feast can only happen after there has first been some fasting; love can only be a gift if the gift is fully respected; and (as Carretto so poignantly puts it) we must learn to wait - for God, for love, for the bride, and for Christmas.

Lance Armstrong

By Jack Chui

Another one in the backlog - from last month...

I don't follow cycling except for what's on the 6pm news but most of us would know of Lance Armstrong who is one of cycling's greatest champions. Last month he was stripped of all his cycling victories and banned from competitive cycling - see this article.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-10-22/armstrong-stripped-of-tour-titles-banned-for-life/4327916

The evidence against Armstrong is damning. But I really like his approach to the whole scandal. I remembered reading the news a week or so before the decision was made when the news was starting to build about everyone coming out to speak against him. Lance came out with a statement that he would not challenge the allegations made against him. He would not fight it because he knew that this would take a toll on him, his family and his charity Livestrong and these were far more important than his own credibility.

That action so reminds me so much of what Jesus did on the cross. He did not fight the authorities and he let them do to him whatever they wanted. Jesus was truly innocent. I'll never know if Lance was guilty or not. All the evidence points that way, and if he did wrong, then he'll have to pay the price for it in this life and/or the next. How many of us would in Lance's position fight to protect some of his most valuable achievements. Its only natural to defend what is ours especially the hard fought ones and those that are worth a lot.

But Armstrong knew that his family and charity were far more valuable than 7 Tour de France titles. He gave it up. The world has turned against him. His sponsors have deserted him and his charity in droves. However to me, he is great champion, not because he survived testicular cancer and won the Tour de France, but because of his action not to fight. That's real courage. Armstrong like all of us will have a limited lifespan and eventually, his name will be forgotten over time. I pray though, that his charity Livestrong will continue his good work, that like our Church, it will outlive any individual and whatever reputation they have.

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” -- Lance Armstrong

The Importance of Family

By Jack Chui

Its been many weeks since my trip alone to Malaysia/Singapore but this shows how far the backlog of my thoughts are which I've yet to share. This will likely be the last one around the trip.

I spent only one week overseas, and one word themed it all - Family. I was very lucky to stay with 3 different families, all of which were my cousins. I saw how their families went about things and I really appreciated their hospitality. They treated me like I was a very special guest - its the sort of treatment that I'm not used to by people other than my parents. And this coming from people --- well 'family' that I hardly see. For some of these families I stayed with, the time I spent with them, was more than the time I had spent with them in my life till then. They encourage me to also open my house in kindness and hospitality to others in my family in a way they opened theirs to me.

I got to see how there's a different relationship between people in a family. I'm an only child and so there's only 3 relationships in my family, 1. me and my dad, 2. me and my mum, 3. my mum and my dad. Its quite simple. It gets a lot more complicated when you progressively add more people in the direct family (I could explain the maths that the number of relationships is n*(n-1)/2 but that's for my maths class =P) and its quite amazing how each relationship is so different even though similar people are in the family. Its so rich the depth of these of these relationships and as large and complex as some families were, I've learned to just appreciate the simple yet rewarding relationships that I have in mine. Perhaps one day if and when I have my own family I can truly experience the rewards and complexity --- for now it was just an honour to witness them from inside their homes.

I was able to share deeply with my host families even though I have not had many contact hours with them compared to my friends. There's this automatic trust, partly because its difficult for them to contact my family back home but I think its because they already know half my story. I was determined to make the most of the short time I had there, and I'm really glad that we were able to be open to each other. My older cousin told me of how much she valued extended family like cousins, because they will be there for you especially when friends can't be. They are the backbone of when it comes to weddings, funerals, celebrations and new births. It makes me really value the relationships that I had with my cousins as I grew up - that I was lucky to grow up with cousins around the same age and share so much together.

Unfortunately, the relationships that I have with my closer cousins in Australia have somewhat fallen a bit because of distance, lack of time and just being busy with their own families and work. I have failed to keep up relationships too for the same reasons. Its kind of sad that we don't really celebrate events like Christmas, Easter and CNY like we used to. I would like to change this... so I make the effort to fly to my native country for my cousin's wedding. Its the fruit of the love they have shown me and my family each time they travel to Australia and when we are back in Malaysia. Distance is a barrier I want to break down that prevents me from being there for family. I thought it used to be the money that was the barrier, but I think more so, the barrier is time. Do we make time to spend with family and outside family? Everyone is working now and there's only 4 week of leave...

I heard a nice saying which a friend shared with me which I think is so true:

Time, Money and Energy - we never seem to have all three

When we're young, we have time and energy, but no money

When we're middle aged, we have money and energy, but no time

When we're old, we have time and money, but no energy...

I guess family is very important for me. I think I feel it most when my family is very small and so cousins are my closest people to brothers and sisters to me. I am very blessed to have the family relationships that I have and I pray that we can all grow them because they are the easiest reflection of God's love for us through other people.

Wedding Photos

By Jack Chui

I've been slack in writing blog posts since I came back from my short trip to Malaysia and Singapore but thankfully Jean's daily posts cover for it. I have a small backlog of things to share, dating back to my short holiday in October...

I was privileged to have the opportunity take some time off from work and travel all the way from Melbourne to Malaysia to attend my cousin's wedding. I'm fairly close to my second cousin even with the distance factor and she has made a lot of effort to keep in touch with me. In a way, to repay those efforts and given that I have the time and the money to make the trip, it wasn't too hard to make the decision to go.

One evening, the then bride to be came over to her father's house at which I was staying at and she brought with her the official wedding photos of the beautiful couple. I'm not a big fan of photos but these photos caught my attention a bit. The photos were amazingly beautiful --- but ... they were just too good.

Photoshop was probably the photographer's friend, and its the norm when taking wedding photos and the like in Malaysia and probably a lot of other Asian countries. I found the photos just a bit too superficial (no disrespect to the couple or the family intended). I then thought, why am I thinking so negatively about these lovely photos which capture the love of such a beautiful couple?

I thought about whether it was because I like to see flaws in others and especially myself. I write mostly about my weaknesses in the hope that I and others can see God's grace working to cover them for me. The photos were just about flawless. The couple is already very good looking but there was just no hair, speck or wrinkle out of place.

I guess its just not real. The photos hide the true reality of marriage, that it is not flawless and always good looking. Its full of blemishes, challenges, struggles --- as well as the joys, happiness and beauty. I spoke to the different families a lot in Malaysia/Singapore - mostly about relationships and most of it is about the challenges and problems the couple/family face and warn/advise me on. I wish for wedding photos that show the couple for what it really is, because love is about accepting what's good and what's bad in the other, not just the good.

I think the late Pope John Paul II said regarding his work on Theology of the Body that the problem with pornography is not that its shows too much, but that it doesn't show enough. Where is the love in those photos?

Are perfect photos what we just want everyone to see? I just think there's a lot of beauty in flaws... sadistic as I am...

When You Fail To Love, You Lose

By Jean Cheng

27 Oct


_____________________

Ephesians 4:7-16

Each one of us has been given his own share of grace, given as Christ allotted it. It was said that he would:

When he ascended to the height, he captured prisoners,
he gave gifts to men.

When it says, ‘he ascended’, what can it mean if not that he descended right down to the lower regions of the earth? The one who rose higher than all the heavens to fill all things is none other than the one who descended. And to some, his gift was that they should be apostles; to some, prophets; to some, evangelists; to some, pastors and teachers; so that the saints together make a unity in the work of service, building up the body of Christ. In this way we are all to come to unity in our faith and in our knowledge of the Son of God, until we become the perfect Man, fully mature with the fullness of Christ himself.

Then we shall not be children any longer, or tossed one way and another and carried along by every wind of doctrine, at the mercy of all the tricks men play and their cleverness in practising deceit. If we live by the truth and in love, we shall grow in all ways into Christ, who is the head by whom the whole body is fitted and joined together, every joint adding its own strength, for each separate part to work according to its function. So the body grows until it has built itself up, in love.


_____________________

Luke 13:1-9

Some people arrived and told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with that of their sacrifices. At this he said to them, ‘Do you suppose these Galileans who suffered like that were greater sinners than any other Galileans? They were not, I tell you. No; but unless you repent you will all perish as they did. Or those eighteen on whom the tower at Siloam fell and killed them? Do you suppose that they were more guilty than all the other people living in Jerusalem? They were not, I tell you. No; but unless you repent you will all perish as they did.’

He told this parable: ‘A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came looking for fruit on it but found none. He said to the man who looked after the vineyard, “Look here, for three years now I have been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and finding none. Cut it down: why should it be taking up the ground?” “Sir,” the man replied “leave it one more year and give me time to dig round it and manure it: it may bear fruit next year; if not, then you can cut it down.”’


_____________________

It may bear fruit next year; if not, then you can cut it down

The verse above has and continues to scare me. I am often worried that I am not growing fast enough (not in height, those days are over) and therefore often beat myself up when I feel that I have fallen short, pushing myself more and more to grow. I engage in this vicious cycle until I find myself stressed, resentful, tired, and hopeless that I can never catch up and be “fast enough”. I do not think such impatience is what Jesus advocates. He is a God of love and love is patient. Jesus knows that a seed takes time to grow into a tree. He knows that a baby takes time to learn to walk and speak. We are often the ones who forget that we are still babies in so many areas of our lives and will take time to overcome old habits, learn new skills, etc.

Nevertheless, while love is patient and therefore allows the natural timing for growth to happen, ultimately, there must be growth. If there is no growth, the purpose for that particular entity is lost. What do we do with our laptops that no longer fulfill their purpose in letting us work on them or watch entertainment on them? What do we do when certain medications no longer produce the effect that they were made for? We let them go. “If the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men” (Matthew 5:13).

Everything must have a purpose behind its existence. Without this, they are pointless and redundant. What then is the purpose of our lives? I believe that the purpose of our lives is love. Specifically, the purpose of our lives is to know (and experience) the love of our Creator and Father, as well as to share this love with those around us.

The ways in which we are called to share that love differs from person to person. We are all called to pass the same message but in different ways: some as prophets, others as teachers; some as fathers, others as mothers; some as singles, others as spouses. We are not called to do everything and play every role to everyone. We are called to spread God’s love in the roles we have been assigned to. What we cannot do, God will assign someone else.

This then begs the question, how do we know what we have been assigned to? I believe that wherever we are in life is what we have been assigned to. If we are married, we are called to love in our marriage. If we are single, we are called to love and testify His love in our present singlehood. If we are a student, we are called to love in our diligence in studying. If we are a dancer, we are called to love through our dancing. In all that we do, in our present states in life, we are called to love all that we are doing. Whatever we fail to love, we are actually saying we do not want it in our lives, and our wishes might at times be regretfully answered.

So what is it that you love and do not want removed in your life? Pray for God to help you to love that right now, today, and every day. Remember as well that love is patient – so be gentle on yourself as you grow to love in that area of your life.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Jean Cheng)


_____________________

Prayer: Tell God what you do not want to lose and want to love better. For me, Lord, I do not want to lose the people I often take for granted (those who are most patient with me). I do not want to lose my analytical thinking and writing skills. Help me to work on loving all of these better and bear fruit. Amen.

Thanksgiving: Thank You Jesus for protecting us from ourselves by reminding us of the natural consequences of carrying on in particular ways.

Dealing With Difficult People

By Jean Cheng

26 Oct


_____________________

Ephesians 4:1-6

I, the prisoner in the Lord, implore you to lead a life worthy of your vocation. Bear with one another charitably, in complete selflessness, gentleness and patience. Do all you can to preserve the unity of the Spirit by the peace that binds you together. There is one Body, one Spirit, just as you were all called into one and the same hope when you were called. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, and one God who is Father of all, over all, through all and within all.


_____________________

Luke 12:54-59

Jesus said to the crowds, ‘When you see a cloud looming up in the west you say at once that rain is coming, and so it does. And when the wind is from the south you say it will be hot, and it is. Hypocrites! You know how to interpret the face of the earth and the sky. How is it you do not know how to interpret these times?

‘Why not judge for yourselves what is right? For example: when you go to court with your opponent, try to settle with him on the way, or he may drag you before the judge and the judge hand you over to the bailiff and the bailiff have you thrown into prison. I tell you, you will not get out till you have paid the very last penny.’


_____________________

Bear with one another charitably, in complete selflessness, gentleness and patience

Are there people you find difficult to be around? People who you wish would not be in your office, clique, church community, and for some, even family? People whom you cannot help but feel that they owe you so many apologies for the wrong they have done to you? People whom you cannot help but feel your heart cringe when you are around them?

There are some people like that in my life. These are the ones whom I cannot help but feel that my health would be so much better if they ceased to exist. Yet, I cannot make them disappear. When faced with such situations, I have learnt that the best thing to do is to do as Mother Mary often did: ponder and pray.

Ponder the reason why God has allowed you some individuals in your life. Are they really there to make your life hard or is it an opportunity for you to love not just those who are easy to love but also those who are difficult to? Ponder why God doesn’t give us ‘perfection’ in our social circles/families/work committees etc. Why are there always conflicts to resolve? Could it be that He wants to show us that we are bigger than the situations we are in? Specifically, we do not have to wait until situations are perfect before we act. We can still do something in the midst of the chaos. Perhaps He wants to show us how strong and resilient He has made us to be, that we are greater than the situations we find ourselves in.

While pondering, keep praying. On our own, we would most likely take the easy route and simply eliminate anything that disturbs us. However, if God took had our sinful mindsets, He would have destroyed us many times.  Yet, He continued to wait. He created us and knew the good that He had imprinted deep within us. No matter what we have done or what we will continue to do, that good deep within us remains. He waits because He knows that everything takes time to grow. Seeds take time to grow into trees. So too do we take time to grow in our goodness. So too will others take time to grow in their goodness. Pray so that we can see them as God sees us.

Jesus’ last prayer was, ‘I pray that they will all be one, just as You and I are one’ (John 17: 21). The best way we can love others is care for what they care about.  The best way we can love the One who loves us is to care about what He cares for – unity with our brothers and sisters. If we cannot “fall in love” with our these individuals immediately, let us start small. Just as a tree started as a seed, so too let us have faith that our small actions of not cursing another, not gossiping, not arguing back, being silent, praying for the other, and so forth, will continue to help us to grow in our ability to love. One way that I have found helpful in forgiving and continuing to love those who hurt me is to “accept the apology I never received”.

Perhaps God has allowed these people in our lives so that we truly grow in becoming more like our Creator and Father.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Jean Cheng)


_____________________

Prayer: Lord Jesus, I don’t like dealing with _______  (insert the name of someone you struggle with) in my life. But I know You love them as much as You love me. Help me to see that in loving them in my small ways, I am blessing You and loving You.

Thanksgiving: We give thanks to those who have patiently and at times painfully waited for us. In particular, I give thanks for my mum today.

Fill Me Again

By Jean Cheng

25 Oct


_____________________

Ephesians 3:14-21

This is what I pray, kneeling before the Father, from whom every family, whether spiritual or natural, takes its name:

Out of his infinite glory, may he give you the power through his Spirit for your hidden self to grow strong, so that Christ may live in your hearts through faith, and then, planted in love and built on love, you will with all the saints have strength to grasp the breadth and the length, the height and the depth; until, knowing the love of Christ, which is beyond all knowledge, you are filled with the utter fullness of God.

Glory be to him whose power, working in us, can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine; glory be to him from generation to generation in the Church and in Christ Jesus for ever and ever. Amen.


_____________________

Luke 12:49-53

Jesus said to his disciples: ‘I have come to bring fire to the earth, and how I wish it were blazing already! There is a baptism I must still receive, and how great is my distress till it is over!

‘Do you suppose that I am here to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. For from now on a household of five will be divided: three against two and two against three; the father divided against the son, son against father, mother against daughter, daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law, daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.’


_____________________

Filled with utter fullness of God

In the recent weeks, I have felt quite distant from God. I have prayed every day; hence, it frustrated me that I continued to feel distant despite spending time with Him. Nevertheless, I was aware that each time I prayed, I would go through a whole list of desires and worries I had, asking God to help. I would then end the prayer and wait for God to show me that He is God by answering my prayers. I noticed, however, that even with one worry after another lifted, I would only be briefly relieved and happy, and then I would go onto worry and fret over the remaining items on my list, perhaps even adding a few more to the list.

The verse above grips me because to be filled in complete fullness and reverence of God is something I truly desire. Somehow whenever I have been filled completely by God, it no longer matters if my life goes through a crisis; all the pain and worries are nothing compared to the peace and joy I feel knowing that I have my God and He is enough for me. I am still able to dance, be happy, be excited about life, regardless of the situation. I no longer worry about what people think of me, if my work would lead me somewhere in life, or if people leave me. Of course, I do not wish such outcomes upon myself, but I know that even if they happen, I would still be happy because I have God.

How is it that I seem to have lost that? How is it that God is no longer enough for me? Why can I no longer surrender my desires to Him, allowing Him to take care of me in His way, in His time – independent of the outcome?

A friend of mine once took a cup, turned it upside down, and said that he wanted to be like the cup: empty so that he could be filled by God again. I find myself holding onto my cup of life, struggling to turn it upside down. I don’t want to lose the little I have inside. I still want to have certain outcomes in my life.

Yet I know that even if I had everything I wanted in life, I would not be happy. Nothing and nobody would be able to fill a gap in my heart – only God can. On the contrary, even if I never attain all that I desire in life, God can and will fill the gaps in those areas and allow me to still have a life that is complete, perfect, meaningful, and purposeful. I need to choose again – to relentlessly and compulsively gear my life in the direction of the outcomes I want, or to simply sit with Jesus and allow Him to mold my future with His loving hands.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Jean Cheng)


_____________________

Prayer: Jesus, I want to be filled by You completely again. I am scared but what would I be even if I had everything in life but did not have You? Take me home to you again, and help me to live for You alone.

Thanksgiving: Thank You Jesus for waiting for me. Thank You for loving me.

Someone Else Can Do It Better

By Jean Cheng

24 Oct


_____________________

Ephesians 3:2-12

You have probably heard how I have been entrusted by God with the grace he meant for you, and that it was by a revelation that I was given the knowledge of the mystery, as I have just described it very shortly. If you read my word you will have some idea of the depths that I see in the mystery of Christ. This that has now been revealed through the Spirit to his holy apostles and prophets was unknown to any men in past generations; it means that pagans now share the same inheritance, that they are parts of the same body, and that the same promise has been made to them, in Jesus Christ, through the gospel. I have been made the servant of that gospel by a gift of grace from God who gave it to me by his own power. I, who am less than the least of all the saints have been entrusted with this special grace, not only of proclaiming to the pagans the infinite treasure of Christ but also of explaining how the mystery is to be dispensed. Through all the ages, this has been kept hidden in God, the creator of everything. Why? So that the Sovereignties and Powers should learn only now, through the Church, how comprehensive God’s wisdom really is, exactly according to the plan which he had had from all eternity in Christ Jesus our Lord. This is why we are bold enough to approach God in complete confidence, through our faith in him.

_____________________

Luke 12:39-48

Jesus said to his disciples:

‘You may be quite sure of this, that if the householder had known at what hour the burglar would come, he would not have let anyone break through the wall of his house. You too must stand ready, because the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.’

Peter said, ‘Lord, do you mean this parable for us, or for everyone?’ The Lord replied, ‘What sort of steward, then, is faithful and wise enough for the master to place him over his household to give them their allowance of food at the proper time? Happy that servant if his master’s arrival finds him at this employment. I tell you truly, he will place him over everything he owns. But as for the servant who says to himself, “My master is taking his time coming,” and sets about beating the menservants and the maids, and eating and drinking and getting drunk, his master will come on a day he does not expect and at an hour he does not know. The master will cut him off and send him to the same fate as the unfaithful.

The servant who knows what his master wants, but has not even started to carry out those wishes, will receive very many strokes of the lash. The one who did not know, but deserves to be beaten for what he has done, will receive fewer strokes. When a man has had a great deal given him, a great deal will be demanded of him; when a man has had a great deal given him on trust, even more will be expected of him.’


_____________________

I have been entrusted with this special grace

St Paul is a man who was very focused on his mission. He was clear that his mission was to proclaim the Good News and bring salvation to those who did not know God. He never wasted any time but set forth on his mission. In almost every letter he writes in the bible, you can feel his passion, his clarity, his focus. Not once did he ever doubt his mission (at least based on what was recorded in the bible), not once did he consider himself “too small” or “not good enough” to carry out his mission. Some might think that it is because St Paul was ignorant of his weaknesses. I think, however, that St Paul was fully aware of his weaknesses for he begged the Lord to remove his weakness from him (2 Corinthians 12: 7-10). He also was aware that there were others who were possibly of better caliber than himself to carry out the mission (Ephesians 3: 8).

Yet, St Paul remained successful in his mission because he did not look to himself for answers, but he repeatedly trusted in the grace of God. Where he despised his weakness, he trusted that God would be most glorified in his weakness. Where he felt others were greater than him in holiness, he was the one who was nevertheless called to this mission, not them. I believe there is much I can learn from St Paul.

Unlike St Paul, I often waste too much time doubting my calling in various areas of life. Often I think to myself that someone else would be able to do my thesis-which-never-seems-to-end better than I. Sometimes, I think I am not “good enough” to love various people who are difficult to love. Well, maybe I am right. Regardless, just like how others might be more qualified than St Paul, it was St Paul who was chosen for the mission. Similarly, even if others might be able to love more or to write my thesis better than I, it is I who have been called to do this.

Will I continue to waste time doubting my calling, feeling more miserable in life through this process? Or will I learn from St Paul to be aware of my weaknesses (e.g., my lack of love on occasions etc) and still continue to trust in the power of God who will make up for what I lack?

(Today’s OXYGEN by Jean Cheng)


_____________________

Prayer: Lord, I want to be focused on what You have called me to in my life. I entrust all my doubts, fears, and inadequacies to You. I know that You can make up for what I lack. Help me to not let what I can’t do stop me from doing what I can. Amen.

Thanksgiving: Thank you St Paul for your focus on Jesus and the mission He called you to. Please pray for me to be focused on Jesus and the mission He has called me to.

I Prefer to Receive

By Jean Cheng

23 Oct


_____________________

Ephesians 2:12-22

Do not forget that you had no Christ and were excluded from membership of Israel, aliens with no part in the covenants with their Promise; you were immersed in this world, without hope and without God. But now in Christ Jesus, you that used to be so far apart from us have been brought very close, by the blood of Christ. For he is the peace between us, and has made the two into one and broken down the barrier which used to keep them apart, actually destroying in his own person the hostility caused by the rules and decrees of the Law. This was to create one single New Man in himself out of the two of them and by restoring peace through the cross, to unite them both in a single Body and reconcile them with God: in his own person he killed the hostility. Later he came to bring the good news of peace, peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near at hand. Through him, both of us have in the one Spirit our way to come to the Father.

So you are no longer aliens or foreign visitors: you are citizens like all the saints, and part of God’s household. You are part of a building that has the apostles and prophets for its foundations, and Christ Jesus himself for its main cornerstone. As every structure is aligned on him, all grow into one holy temple in the Lord; and you too, in him, are being built into a house where God lives, in the Spirit.


_____________________

Security

By Jean Cheng

22 Oct

_____________________

Ephesians 2:1-10

You were dead through the crimes and the sins in which you used to live when you were following the way of this world, obeying the ruler who governs the air, the spirit who is at work in the rebellious. We all were among them too in the past, living sensual lives, ruled entirely by our own physical desires and our own ideas; so that by nature we were as much under God’s anger as the rest of the world. But God loved us with so much love that he was generous with his mercy: when we were dead through our sins, he brought us to life with Christ – it is through grace that you have been saved – and raised us up with him and gave us a place with him in heaven, in Christ Jesus.

This was to show for all ages to come, through his goodness towards us in Christ Jesus, how infinitely rich he is in grace. Because it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith; not by anything of your own, but by a gift from God; not by anything that you have done, so that nobody can claim the credit. We are God’s work of art, created in Christ Jesus to live the good life as from the beginning he had meant us to live it.

_____________________

My Life Should Not Be This Way

Hi STAY peeps!

I write for an online daily reflections website called OXYGEN, where each day the daily mass readings is reflected upon by a writer. This week is my turn to write; hence thought I'd share my reflections with you guys on this blog for the week. Yup, you have no choice but to see my reflections here. Haha.

God bless,
Jean


21 Oct – Twenty-Ninth Sunday of Ordinary Time

Christ The Suffering Servant Of God

Today we celebrate the Christ who gives meaning to all human suffering. By taking on himself the role of a servant and redeeming us by his sufferings, he has turned all our human values upside down. It is the weak who have become strong.

- The Sunday Missal

_____________________

Isaiah 53:10-11

The Lord has been pleased to crush his servant with suffering.
If he offers his life in atonement,
he shall see his heirs, he shall have a long life
and through him what the Lord wishes will be done.

His soul’s anguish over,
he shall see the light and be content.
By his sufferings shall my servant justify many,
taking their faults on himself.


_____________________

Hebrews 4:14-16

Since in Jesus, the Son of God, we have the supreme high priest who has gone through to the highest heaven, we must never let go of the faith that we have professed. For it is not as if we had a high priest who was incapable of feeling our weaknesses with us; but we have one who has been tempted in every way that we are, though he is without sin. Let us be confident, then, in approaching the throne of grace, that we shall have mercy from him and find grace when we are in need of help.


_____________________

Mark 10:35-45

James and John, the sons of Zebedee, approached Jesus. ‘Master,’ they said to him ‘we want you to do us a favour.’ He said to them, ‘What is it you want me to do for you?’ They said to him, ‘Allow us to sit one at your right hand and the other at your left in your glory.’ ‘You do not know what you are asking’ Jesus said to them. ‘Can you drink the cup that I must drink, or be baptised with the baptism with which I must be baptised?’ They replied, ‘We can.’ Jesus said to them, ‘The cup that I must drink you shall drink, and with the baptism with which I must be baptised you shall be baptised, but as for seats at my right hand or my left, these are not mine to grant; they belong to those to whom they have been allotted.’

When the other ten heard this they began to feel indignant with James and John, so Jesus called them to him and said to them, ‘You know that among the pagans their so-called rulers lord it over them, and their great men make their authority felt. This is not to happen among you. No; anyone who wants to become great among you must be your servant, and anyone who wants to be first among you must be slave to all. For the Son of Man himself did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’


_____________________

We have one who has been tempted in every way that we are… find grace when we are in need of help

One of the most recurrent temptations I face is to reject my present state of life, my present challenges/crosses/circumstances. To say, ‘This is not the way my life should be’. Whenever I say that, I find myself getting angry at my life and the way things have turned out. I dupe myself into thinking that my life ‘should be’ easier (e.g., my assignments ‘should be’ easier to write, thoughts ‘should’ flow naturally and easily onto the piece of paper). As a result, I often feel I ‘should be’ somewhere else, feel cheated that life has turned out the way it is – ordinary, challenging, boring at times, and more difficult than I desire.

Today’s second reading writes that Jesus has been tempted in EVERY way that we are. Could Jesus have thoughts that as the Son of God, people ‘should’ respect and listen to Him? Could He have thoughts that He ‘should not’ have to trouble Himself with ordinary chores (e.g., helping His mother with the housework), and that He ‘should’ feel more excited and pumped up about each day?

Like me, could Jesus have had thoughts that His life ‘should’ not be so hard?

Yes, I believe that Jesus did have such thoughts. I believe He was tempted to reject each day as it presented itself, feeling that He should be elsewhere having a good time. I believe that Jesus was tempted to reject the daily crosses of struggles, hardship, and suffering. These daily crosses need not appear in the form of a dramatic suffering. Daily suffering instead involves familiar struggles such as accepting boring aspects of the day, accepting that others will demand our time of rest and leisure from us, having to reconcile with those whom we are unhappy with, as well as humbly realizing that we need to work hard and learn on our jobs rather than having everything ‘flow instantaneously’.

The more we reject our state of life, the more time we have lost in appreciating and celebrating that day of life as it presents itself – ordinary moments with family members, friends or colleagues, developing childlike humility in embracing that we will not be good at everything immediately but we will not stop learning, as well as the opportunity to develop our character each time we enter into our pains and struggles rather than avoid them.

On our own, it is impossible to change these old ways of thinking. In fact, on my own, I don’t even want to change! But because we have a living God, there is every reason to hope that He will help us to better embrace and celebrate our lives – the ups and the downs – and thereby enable us to appreciate the gift of our lives fully.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Jean Cheng)


_____________________

Prayer: Lord Jesus, I find it so hard to let go of this way of thinking, that my life should be different from what it presently is. On my own, it is impossible to overcome this. But I come to You in hope that You will grant me Your graces to help me to start to embrace each day of life as a gift – just the way it is. Amen.

Thanksgiving: Thank You Jesus, for responding to my prayer for help every time I cry out to You.