Lance Armstrong

By Jack Chui

Another one in the backlog - from last month...

I don't follow cycling except for what's on the 6pm news but most of us would know of Lance Armstrong who is one of cycling's greatest champions. Last month he was stripped of all his cycling victories and banned from competitive cycling - see this article.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-10-22/armstrong-stripped-of-tour-titles-banned-for-life/4327916

The evidence against Armstrong is damning. But I really like his approach to the whole scandal. I remembered reading the news a week or so before the decision was made when the news was starting to build about everyone coming out to speak against him. Lance came out with a statement that he would not challenge the allegations made against him. He would not fight it because he knew that this would take a toll on him, his family and his charity Livestrong and these were far more important than his own credibility.

That action so reminds me so much of what Jesus did on the cross. He did not fight the authorities and he let them do to him whatever they wanted. Jesus was truly innocent. I'll never know if Lance was guilty or not. All the evidence points that way, and if he did wrong, then he'll have to pay the price for it in this life and/or the next. How many of us would in Lance's position fight to protect some of his most valuable achievements. Its only natural to defend what is ours especially the hard fought ones and those that are worth a lot.

But Armstrong knew that his family and charity were far more valuable than 7 Tour de France titles. He gave it up. The world has turned against him. His sponsors have deserted him and his charity in droves. However to me, he is great champion, not because he survived testicular cancer and won the Tour de France, but because of his action not to fight. That's real courage. Armstrong like all of us will have a limited lifespan and eventually, his name will be forgotten over time. I pray though, that his charity Livestrong will continue his good work, that like our Church, it will outlive any individual and whatever reputation they have.

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” -- Lance Armstrong

The Importance of Family

By Jack Chui

Its been many weeks since my trip alone to Malaysia/Singapore but this shows how far the backlog of my thoughts are which I've yet to share. This will likely be the last one around the trip.

I spent only one week overseas, and one word themed it all - Family. I was very lucky to stay with 3 different families, all of which were my cousins. I saw how their families went about things and I really appreciated their hospitality. They treated me like I was a very special guest - its the sort of treatment that I'm not used to by people other than my parents. And this coming from people --- well 'family' that I hardly see. For some of these families I stayed with, the time I spent with them, was more than the time I had spent with them in my life till then. They encourage me to also open my house in kindness and hospitality to others in my family in a way they opened theirs to me.

I got to see how there's a different relationship between people in a family. I'm an only child and so there's only 3 relationships in my family, 1. me and my dad, 2. me and my mum, 3. my mum and my dad. Its quite simple. It gets a lot more complicated when you progressively add more people in the direct family (I could explain the maths that the number of relationships is n*(n-1)/2 but that's for my maths class =P) and its quite amazing how each relationship is so different even though similar people are in the family. Its so rich the depth of these of these relationships and as large and complex as some families were, I've learned to just appreciate the simple yet rewarding relationships that I have in mine. Perhaps one day if and when I have my own family I can truly experience the rewards and complexity --- for now it was just an honour to witness them from inside their homes.

I was able to share deeply with my host families even though I have not had many contact hours with them compared to my friends. There's this automatic trust, partly because its difficult for them to contact my family back home but I think its because they already know half my story. I was determined to make the most of the short time I had there, and I'm really glad that we were able to be open to each other. My older cousin told me of how much she valued extended family like cousins, because they will be there for you especially when friends can't be. They are the backbone of when it comes to weddings, funerals, celebrations and new births. It makes me really value the relationships that I had with my cousins as I grew up - that I was lucky to grow up with cousins around the same age and share so much together.

Unfortunately, the relationships that I have with my closer cousins in Australia have somewhat fallen a bit because of distance, lack of time and just being busy with their own families and work. I have failed to keep up relationships too for the same reasons. Its kind of sad that we don't really celebrate events like Christmas, Easter and CNY like we used to. I would like to change this... so I make the effort to fly to my native country for my cousin's wedding. Its the fruit of the love they have shown me and my family each time they travel to Australia and when we are back in Malaysia. Distance is a barrier I want to break down that prevents me from being there for family. I thought it used to be the money that was the barrier, but I think more so, the barrier is time. Do we make time to spend with family and outside family? Everyone is working now and there's only 4 week of leave...

I heard a nice saying which a friend shared with me which I think is so true:

Time, Money and Energy - we never seem to have all three

When we're young, we have time and energy, but no money

When we're middle aged, we have money and energy, but no time

When we're old, we have time and money, but no energy...

I guess family is very important for me. I think I feel it most when my family is very small and so cousins are my closest people to brothers and sisters to me. I am very blessed to have the family relationships that I have and I pray that we can all grow them because they are the easiest reflection of God's love for us through other people.

Wedding Photos

By Jack Chui

I've been slack in writing blog posts since I came back from my short trip to Malaysia and Singapore but thankfully Jean's daily posts cover for it. I have a small backlog of things to share, dating back to my short holiday in October...

I was privileged to have the opportunity take some time off from work and travel all the way from Melbourne to Malaysia to attend my cousin's wedding. I'm fairly close to my second cousin even with the distance factor and she has made a lot of effort to keep in touch with me. In a way, to repay those efforts and given that I have the time and the money to make the trip, it wasn't too hard to make the decision to go.

One evening, the then bride to be came over to her father's house at which I was staying at and she brought with her the official wedding photos of the beautiful couple. I'm not a big fan of photos but these photos caught my attention a bit. The photos were amazingly beautiful --- but ... they were just too good.

Photoshop was probably the photographer's friend, and its the norm when taking wedding photos and the like in Malaysia and probably a lot of other Asian countries. I found the photos just a bit too superficial (no disrespect to the couple or the family intended). I then thought, why am I thinking so negatively about these lovely photos which capture the love of such a beautiful couple?

I thought about whether it was because I like to see flaws in others and especially myself. I write mostly about my weaknesses in the hope that I and others can see God's grace working to cover them for me. The photos were just about flawless. The couple is already very good looking but there was just no hair, speck or wrinkle out of place.

I guess its just not real. The photos hide the true reality of marriage, that it is not flawless and always good looking. Its full of blemishes, challenges, struggles --- as well as the joys, happiness and beauty. I spoke to the different families a lot in Malaysia/Singapore - mostly about relationships and most of it is about the challenges and problems the couple/family face and warn/advise me on. I wish for wedding photos that show the couple for what it really is, because love is about accepting what's good and what's bad in the other, not just the good.

I think the late Pope John Paul II said regarding his work on Theology of the Body that the problem with pornography is not that its shows too much, but that it doesn't show enough. Where is the love in those photos?

Are perfect photos what we just want everyone to see? I just think there's a lot of beauty in flaws... sadistic as I am...