Wedding Photos

By Jack Chui

I've been slack in writing blog posts since I came back from my short trip to Malaysia and Singapore but thankfully Jean's daily posts cover for it. I have a small backlog of things to share, dating back to my short holiday in October...

I was privileged to have the opportunity take some time off from work and travel all the way from Melbourne to Malaysia to attend my cousin's wedding. I'm fairly close to my second cousin even with the distance factor and she has made a lot of effort to keep in touch with me. In a way, to repay those efforts and given that I have the time and the money to make the trip, it wasn't too hard to make the decision to go.

One evening, the then bride to be came over to her father's house at which I was staying at and she brought with her the official wedding photos of the beautiful couple. I'm not a big fan of photos but these photos caught my attention a bit. The photos were amazingly beautiful --- but ... they were just too good.

Photoshop was probably the photographer's friend, and its the norm when taking wedding photos and the like in Malaysia and probably a lot of other Asian countries. I found the photos just a bit too superficial (no disrespect to the couple or the family intended). I then thought, why am I thinking so negatively about these lovely photos which capture the love of such a beautiful couple?

I thought about whether it was because I like to see flaws in others and especially myself. I write mostly about my weaknesses in the hope that I and others can see God's grace working to cover them for me. The photos were just about flawless. The couple is already very good looking but there was just no hair, speck or wrinkle out of place.

I guess its just not real. The photos hide the true reality of marriage, that it is not flawless and always good looking. Its full of blemishes, challenges, struggles --- as well as the joys, happiness and beauty. I spoke to the different families a lot in Malaysia/Singapore - mostly about relationships and most of it is about the challenges and problems the couple/family face and warn/advise me on. I wish for wedding photos that show the couple for what it really is, because love is about accepting what's good and what's bad in the other, not just the good.

I think the late Pope John Paul II said regarding his work on Theology of the Body that the problem with pornography is not that its shows too much, but that it doesn't show enough. Where is the love in those photos?

Are perfect photos what we just want everyone to see? I just think there's a lot of beauty in flaws... sadistic as I am...