by Jean Nathalia
15 Oct – Memorial for St. Teresa of Jesus, Virgin and Doctor
Also known as Teresa of Avila, Teresa of Jesus (1515–1582) was born to the Spanish nobility, the daughter of Don Alonso Sanchez de Cepeda and Dona Beatriz. She grew up reading the lives of the saints, and playing at “hermit” in the garden.
Crippled by disease in her youth, which led to her being well educated at home, she was cured after prayer to St. Joseph. Her mother died when she was 12, and Teresa prayed to Our Lady to be her replacement. Her father opposed her entry into religious life, so she left home without telling anyone, and entered a Carmelite house at 17. Seeing her conviction to her call, her father and family consented.
Soon after taking her vows, Teresa became gravely ill, and her condition was aggravated by the inadequate medical help she received; she never fully recovered her health. She began receiving visions and was examined by Dominicans and Jesuits, including St. Francis Borgia, who pronounced her visions to be holy and true.
She considered her original house too lax in its rule, so she founded a reformed convent of St. John of Avila. She founded several houses, often against fierce opposition from local authorities. She was a mystical writer, and proclaimed a Doctor of the Church on 27 September 1970 by Pope Paul VI. She is known for ‘holy wit’.
“God, deliver me from sullen saints.” – St. Teresa of Avila
- Patron Saint Index
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Galatians 5:18-25
If you are led by the Spirit, no law can touch you. When self-indulgence is at work the results are obvious: fornication, gross indecency and sexual irresponsibility; idolatry and sorcery; feuds and wrangling, jealousy, bad temper and quarrels; disagreements, factions, envy; drunkenness, orgies and similar things. I warn you now, as I warned you before: those who behave like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. What the Spirit brings is very different: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control. There can be no law against things like that, of course. You cannot belong to Christ Jesus unless you crucify all self-indulgent passions and desires.
Since the Spirit is our life, let us be directed by the Spirit.
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Luke 11:42-46
The Lord said to the Pharisees:
‘Alas for you Pharisees! You who pay your tithe of mint and rue and all sorts of garden herbs and overlook justice and the love of God! These you should have practised, without leaving the others undone. Alas for you Pharisees who like taking the seats of honour in the synagogues and being greeted obsequiously in the market squares! Alas for you, because you are like the unmarked tombs that men walk on without knowing it!
A lawyer then spoke up. ‘Master,’ he said ‘when you speak like this you insult us too.’
‘Alas for you lawyers also,’ he replied ‘because you load on men burdens that are unendurable, burdens that you yourselves do not move a finger to lift.’
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What the Spirit brings is very different: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness, and self-control
I am quite an irritable person–this often plays out in my closest relationships. How I long to be a person who is at peace, patient, and joyful. How I long to be one who is “zen-like”, rather than the hypersensitive reactive person that I am. I feel for those who are closest to me–they are often stepping on the unmarked tombs of my emotions, not realizing where they are stepping on before it is too late.
I feel indignant reading about what the Spirit brings, because it is a painful reminder of how I am lacking. Sometimes, my discomfort even plays out when I see others who are patient, joyful, and gentle. Seeing how I am lacking in contrast to them makes me feel so ashamed that I bury this emotion of shame (with all its accompanying lies) deeper and deeper within me.
Darkness hides itself in shame. But everything brought to the light will be revealed (Mark 4: 22).
Whenever I break out of my cycle of shame and force myself to share my struggles with a person I feel safe enough to confide in, I am almost always healed of my lies. These lies include how I need to always know everything, how I must always be the most moral and kind person, how I must be a perfectly peaceful living saint today. Instead, I am embraced for who I am. I am loved for who I am. I am reminded that my struggles are normal human struggles. I am also challenged to grow in certain ways (e.g., to be more patient with others rather than requiring others to meet my expectations all the time).
In order to be directed by the Spirit, I need to bring these “unmarked tombs” within us into the light. I need to dare to speak about my areas of sensitivity to those whom I trust so that I can start to reexamine the root causes of these emotions. I need to borrow another point of view because I know that there are many ways to look at one matter, and mine may not be the most accurate or helpful lens to look from.
Whatever we hide will lead to a certain death within us–a death where we are no longer able to trust again, to hope in certain areas of life, to smile and breathe freely. But whatever is brought into the light will certainly have a chance, given enough time, to be resurrected and washed clean by the truth and by the Spirit of love and goodness.
(Today’s OXYGEN by Jean Nathalia)
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Prayer: Jesus, I am terrified of what will be revealed when I speak of these areas of struggles that I try so hard to bury away. What will people think of me? I am tired, however, of carrying these “unmarked tombs” of fears and anxieties around. I want to be washed clean by the Spirit of Truth, Light, Love, and Goodness. Resurrect me, Jesus.
Thanksgiving: We give thanks to those who give us a safe place to share our deep struggles and lies with, so that we are reminded again and again of how we are so much more than the lies that we bury deep within us.
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