by Jean Nathalia
Ephesians 1: 15-23
Since, then, I heard of this faith of yours in the Lord Jesus and the practical way in which you are expressing it towards fellow-Christians, I thank God continually for you and I never give up praying for you; and this is my prayer. That God, the God of our Lord Jesus Christ and the all-glorious Father, will give you spiritual wisdom and the insight to know more of him: that you may receive that inner illumination of the spirit which will make you realise how great is the hope to which he is calling you—the magnificence and splendour of the inheritance promised to Christians—and how tremendous is the power available to us who believe in God.
That power is the same divine power which was demonstrated in Christ when he raised him from the dead and gave him the place of supreme honour in Heaven—a place that is infinitely superior to any conceivable command, authority, power or control, and which carries with it a name far beyond any name that could ever be used in this world or the world to come.
God has placed everything under the power of Christ and has set him up as head of everything for the Church. for the Church is his body, and in that body lives fully the one who fills the whole wide universe.
_______________
I thank God for you.
How do you respond when someone says those five words to you: “I thank God for you”? Do you cringe? Laugh it off? Shift the attention away? Or do you look steadily back at that person and receive his/her spirit of gratitude for you?
How would you respond if St Paul actually said those words to you: “I thank God for you”? Would you think that he has mistaken you for someone else? Would you be comfortable with those words or would you feel that these words belonged to another, but not to you?
My response to these five words was clear when I read today’s first reading. I skimmed past those words, believing them to belong to some faithful early community of Christ – not to me. How could they belong to me? I have had my moments of doubt in my faith (and will continue to). I have not always pursued holiness. I have not always been courageous. I have not always loved. I have often chosen to rush through my prayers, rather than to be present in them. I have entertained despair, self-doubt, and self-indulgence. I have chosen to be unkind. I have chosen to be impatient. I have thrown tantrums.
Yet, in spite of all of that, there is a small tugging in my heart that St Paul is thanking God for me. Perhaps you feel it too. In spite of all of your weaknesses and sins, perhaps there is a small voice telling you that God is pleased with you. You may not believe it, you may run away from it, it may be only a quiet whisper, but it is there.
People have told me that I have a gift for writing beautiful words about them. When they tell me this, they also say that they will try to live up to what I have spoken of them. It frustrates me because it is so hard to convey to them that these are not words they must live up to, rather these words describe who they already are in my eyes. Nevertheless, I understand their struggle to receive these truths about them, for I too struggle.
It is so much easier to believe in the curses and condemnations spoken of us, than to believe in good things said of us. It is so much easier to believe that the negative words are truths, and the positive words are flattery. Why are we so afraid to believe in our own goodness? Why am I so afraid to believe in my own goodness?
I guess I am afraid because I think it means that I have to do more to “deserve” to be seen as good. But even without doing much, God is already pleased with me. Right now, the saints are thanking God for me. Right now God is looking at me, pleased with what He sees. Just as I yearn for my loved ones to see themselves through my eyes, perhaps it is time for me to see myself through God’s eyes. Perhaps it is time for me to listen to that quiet voice that whispers under all the layers of self-condemnation: You are good.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson
(Today’s OXYGEN by Jean Nathalia)
_________________
Prayer: Father, I want to see myself through Your eyes. Help me to dare to see what You see and not to run from it.
Thanksgiving: We give thanks that God, unlike us, is easily pleased and delighted.
No comments:
Post a Comment