Putting God to the Test

By Jack Chui

I put my hand up to lead Firebrandz Worship Night in June because Aaron wanted a break after the retreat in June. I'm not a fan of skipping regular events because I'm tired or that (no disrespect to Aaron) especially when there are many others in the team who can help. It was my chance to give back to Firebrandz not in part due to the great blessings that has been brought to STAY through Firebrandz.

I had never led Worship Night before nor ran such a big event from the front. It was an opportunity to step outside the comfort zone as I haven't done so for awhile, and I trusted God to be there like I have grown to trust God slowly through several years of ministry. I had done all the necessary preparations of people, advertising and prayer. I knew what I was going to do - a retreat testimony sharing session like the one I witnessed in Singapore during March.

It wasn't easy leading the Worship Night. I'm probably not the speaker I had imagined myself to be. Must be a gift I'm yet to develop - don't know how Aaron does it... There wasn't as many people as I had hoped or thought normally came to Worship Night (I've missed the last few Worship Nights) and the rush to share testimonies wasn't quite the same as I had seen in Singapore. The Holy Spirit was there to bring out the testimonies from the retreat but not in the way I had hoped for. This was not to say that it wasn't an amazing night - it was, and I was privileged to be able to hear the STAY people share how God worked through Fritz and them from the retreat.

I wondered and prayed about why it wasn't more amazing to me. I opened my bible for the first time in a while, and playing some guided bible roulette (thanks to inspiration through the Quick Journey Through the Bible series at Tuesday Cell Groups) I came upon the short book of Judith. I wanted to read more about the Maccabean revolt as its my least understood part of the bible and I enjoy reading about battles. 

The Israelites having returned from exile were being held to seige by the Assyrians looking to starve them out without causalities to any side. A very smart move... The Israelites were starving and thirsting and so they complained to their leader and the leader said they would surrender if nothing happened in 5 days. Judith was an Israelite widow in the town and asked the Israelite leader to meet her and she said:

Judith 8:11-17 (just the beginning of Judith's speech)

“Listen to me, rulers of the people of Bethulia! What you have said to the people today is not right; you have even sworn and pronounced this oath between God and you, promising to surrender the town to our enemies unless the Lord turns and helps us within so many days. Who are you to put God to the test today, and to set yourselves up in the place of God in human affairs? You are putting the Lord Almighty to the test, but you will never learn anything! You cannot plumb the depths of the human heart or understand the workings of the human mind; how do you expect to search out God, who made all these things, and find out his mind or comprehend his thought? No, my brothers, do not anger the Lord our God. For if he does not choose to help us within these five days, he has power to protect us within any time he pleases, or even to destroy us in the presence of our enemies. Do not try to bind the purposes of the Lord our God; for God is not like a human being, to be threatened, or like a mere mortal, to be won over by pleading. Therefore, while we wait for his deliverance, let us call upon him to help us, and he will hear our voice, if it pleases him.

It puts to light what I might have done wrong - I had expectations that God will deliver no matter what I do, so long as I was there and faithful. I have learned to be faithful and not successful from St. Mother Teresa and it eventually came with success (after quite a lot failing...). I wanted to see God work through weak/new people like me. I didn't think I put God to the test, but perhaps unconsciously I did with my expectations. God is the author of success, in His way and not mine. Perhaps I have been spoilt by the success He has brought STAY/Firebrandz that I have forgotten how to accept the small victories in front of me.

Thank you Father for continuing to teach me, and humbling me so that I can learn. I pray that I can change from what you are teaching me. All praise and glory be to Him forever.