My Life Should Not Be This Way

Hi STAY peeps!

I write for an online daily reflections website called OXYGEN, where each day the daily mass readings is reflected upon by a writer. This week is my turn to write; hence thought I'd share my reflections with you guys on this blog for the week. Yup, you have no choice but to see my reflections here. Haha.

God bless,
Jean


21 Oct – Twenty-Ninth Sunday of Ordinary Time

Christ The Suffering Servant Of God

Today we celebrate the Christ who gives meaning to all human suffering. By taking on himself the role of a servant and redeeming us by his sufferings, he has turned all our human values upside down. It is the weak who have become strong.

- The Sunday Missal

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Isaiah 53:10-11

The Lord has been pleased to crush his servant with suffering.
If he offers his life in atonement,
he shall see his heirs, he shall have a long life
and through him what the Lord wishes will be done.

His soul’s anguish over,
he shall see the light and be content.
By his sufferings shall my servant justify many,
taking their faults on himself.


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Hebrews 4:14-16

Since in Jesus, the Son of God, we have the supreme high priest who has gone through to the highest heaven, we must never let go of the faith that we have professed. For it is not as if we had a high priest who was incapable of feeling our weaknesses with us; but we have one who has been tempted in every way that we are, though he is without sin. Let us be confident, then, in approaching the throne of grace, that we shall have mercy from him and find grace when we are in need of help.


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Mark 10:35-45

James and John, the sons of Zebedee, approached Jesus. ‘Master,’ they said to him ‘we want you to do us a favour.’ He said to them, ‘What is it you want me to do for you?’ They said to him, ‘Allow us to sit one at your right hand and the other at your left in your glory.’ ‘You do not know what you are asking’ Jesus said to them. ‘Can you drink the cup that I must drink, or be baptised with the baptism with which I must be baptised?’ They replied, ‘We can.’ Jesus said to them, ‘The cup that I must drink you shall drink, and with the baptism with which I must be baptised you shall be baptised, but as for seats at my right hand or my left, these are not mine to grant; they belong to those to whom they have been allotted.’

When the other ten heard this they began to feel indignant with James and John, so Jesus called them to him and said to them, ‘You know that among the pagans their so-called rulers lord it over them, and their great men make their authority felt. This is not to happen among you. No; anyone who wants to become great among you must be your servant, and anyone who wants to be first among you must be slave to all. For the Son of Man himself did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’


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We have one who has been tempted in every way that we are… find grace when we are in need of help

One of the most recurrent temptations I face is to reject my present state of life, my present challenges/crosses/circumstances. To say, ‘This is not the way my life should be’. Whenever I say that, I find myself getting angry at my life and the way things have turned out. I dupe myself into thinking that my life ‘should be’ easier (e.g., my assignments ‘should be’ easier to write, thoughts ‘should’ flow naturally and easily onto the piece of paper). As a result, I often feel I ‘should be’ somewhere else, feel cheated that life has turned out the way it is – ordinary, challenging, boring at times, and more difficult than I desire.

Today’s second reading writes that Jesus has been tempted in EVERY way that we are. Could Jesus have thoughts that as the Son of God, people ‘should’ respect and listen to Him? Could He have thoughts that He ‘should not’ have to trouble Himself with ordinary chores (e.g., helping His mother with the housework), and that He ‘should’ feel more excited and pumped up about each day?

Like me, could Jesus have had thoughts that His life ‘should’ not be so hard?

Yes, I believe that Jesus did have such thoughts. I believe He was tempted to reject each day as it presented itself, feeling that He should be elsewhere having a good time. I believe that Jesus was tempted to reject the daily crosses of struggles, hardship, and suffering. These daily crosses need not appear in the form of a dramatic suffering. Daily suffering instead involves familiar struggles such as accepting boring aspects of the day, accepting that others will demand our time of rest and leisure from us, having to reconcile with those whom we are unhappy with, as well as humbly realizing that we need to work hard and learn on our jobs rather than having everything ‘flow instantaneously’.

The more we reject our state of life, the more time we have lost in appreciating and celebrating that day of life as it presents itself – ordinary moments with family members, friends or colleagues, developing childlike humility in embracing that we will not be good at everything immediately but we will not stop learning, as well as the opportunity to develop our character each time we enter into our pains and struggles rather than avoid them.

On our own, it is impossible to change these old ways of thinking. In fact, on my own, I don’t even want to change! But because we have a living God, there is every reason to hope that He will help us to better embrace and celebrate our lives – the ups and the downs – and thereby enable us to appreciate the gift of our lives fully.

(Today’s OXYGEN by Jean Cheng)


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Prayer: Lord Jesus, I find it so hard to let go of this way of thinking, that my life should be different from what it presently is. On my own, it is impossible to overcome this. But I come to You in hope that You will grant me Your graces to help me to start to embrace each day of life as a gift – just the way it is. Amen.

Thanksgiving: Thank You Jesus, for responding to my prayer for help every time I cry out to You.