My First 10km Marathon Run

By Jean Cheng

I ran my first Marathon 10km event yesterday at the Melbourne Marathon 2012.
For years, I have said that I wanted to participate in such an event.
For years, it was all talk and no action.
With the encouragement and invitation of a few friends,
I finally signed up for it before I could change my mind.
I made a financial commitment and there was no turning back.
(For us Singaporeans, once we pay for something, we will not want to 'waste' our money. Heh.)

So I woke up at 6am.
Actually, I hardly slept.
I was pretty grumpy and tired.
It certainly didn't help that there were no trams and no cabs wanted to take me to Rod Laver Arena.
Time was running out and the only option was for me to run.
Run to my marathon?!!
For a moment I contemplated just going back home to sleep.
But I had already woken up,
I didn't want to just turn back now.
So I ran.

By the time I arrived at the place, it was just a few minutes before the marathon would begin.
The moment I saw the crowd,
I felt a sense that I was no longer alone.
Many others had also waken up early,
Also ran to the venue,
And we were all there for one purpose - to run.
All the morning irritation dissipated instantly and in its place was a deep sense of joy.
A joy of being in communion with many others who were sharing the same experience as me.
A joy of finally doing this.

The starting line broke and we started running.
Gosh, shortly into the run,
The voices in my head started telling me that I was too tired,
That everyone was overtaking me,
That I was too slow,
That I should just give up.
I wanted to give up.
But there was one persistent quiet voice beneath the screaming voices...
A voice that said, 'I don't stop when I'm tired, I stop when I am done'.
For the whole run,
I had to keep listening to that voice,
Chanting that same line over and over again.
I realised that the pain I was experiencing was more from the noise in my head than my body.

As I ran past people watching us, taking photos of us, cheering us on,
I was just so happy that I was no longer standing on the sides - I was participating.
I felt the breeze as I ran freely,
I saw a father running with his son and turning every now and then to make sure that his son was next to him,
I saw others determined to keep going.
When I finally ran past the finish line,
All the pain disappeared and all I felt was pure joy.
PURE JOY.
Such that if anyone asked me what it was like,
All I can say is "it was fun!!"
This reminds me of a pregnant woman in labour.
Once her baby is out, she forgets the anguish she experienced for the many hours she agonised.
This reminds me of the truth of the words,
'You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn to joy' (John 16:20).

This marathon has taught me much.
It has given me the mantra-antidote to my thesis-writing anguish (i.e., do not stop until I am done, regardless of the thoughts that try to weaken my will and confidence)
It has reminded me how important it is to keep going because the joy at the end of the tunnel is worth every tear shed.
It has told me that I CAN - and sometimes, you need to run to the end so that you don't just believe in the word, but you believe because the word just turned into flesh.