Lenten Reflections Day 9 & 10

Day 9:

First reading: Esther 12: 14-16, 23-25
Psalm 138: 1-3, 7-8
Gospel Matthew 7: 7-12

In Esther, it is said that she was seized with "deathly anxiety". This immediately paints a picture in my head that anxiety is a condition so serious that it can even lead to death. A lot of us worry about something or many things. They can range from irrational fears such as fear of spiders, to genuine concerns such as fear of losing our jobs or lack thereof, we can also be anxious about our relationships and the future.

What we find is that these anxieties can lead to restlessness. We experience sleepless nights, loss of appetite, increased heart rates etc. It even leads to our trying various methods of self-medication such as food, drugs and alcohol to help us cope. The bible says of Esther that in her deathly anxiety she fled to the Lord.

In anxious situations, we too like Esther should turn to God in prayer, trusting that he will deliver us from the dangers we face and that we would be able to conquer our fears. This also continues on to the Gospel of Matthew where God emphasises that he will give to those who ask of him. This week, I hold onto this promise of God trusting that he will see that all the goals and plans I have for my life will come to fruition and seeing the manifestation of his goodness in my life, I can be a testimony to others.

Day 10

First reading: Ezekiel 18:21-28
Psalm 130: 1-8
Gospel Matthew 5: 20-26

Reflecting on this reading I looked on my actions today and examined my heart. I had done some things that I was not proud of. I confess that I broke my vow to fast. It has not been easy and I suppose, I gave in to temptation. I had in my head justifications and excuses for why what I did was ok. However my actions impacted the rest of my day. I experienced a sense of inner guilt and feelings like I took God's mercy and grace for granted.

The first reading is a reminder that despite how many times we fail, God desires that we return to him. "But if a wicked man turns away from all his sins which he has committed and keeps all my statues and does what is right and lawful, he shall surely live; he shall not die" Ezekiel 18:21

The psalmist cries out to God "If thou should mark iniquities Lord who could stand, but there is forgiveness with thee that thou may be feared"

In the gospel reading, it further emphasises God's demand for our righteousness especially from us believers. He warns us to guard our hearts and tongues. It is not only important to ask God's forgiveness but also the forgiveness of those we have wronged that we may receive God's mercy